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Thank you so much for still reading, everyone!! \o/ I'm terribly sorry to the people whose comments I haven't responded to yet -- I've been very busy with Uni, and have been prioritizing my fandom time into getting this written and posted as soon as possible. Rest assured, I will respond to all of them!


Thank you a million for letting me know what you think; your feedback is what keeps me going. <3


Title: "Until My Dying Breath" -- Chapter Seven
Author: emilianadarling
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Vampire AU with all the unpleasantness that entails. Dubious consent, violence, pain, bloodplay, blood drinking, sexualized violence, grotesque descriptions, dark setting, fear, minor past character death, intense dark emotions, brief contemplation of suicide in a previous chapter. Warnings on a chapter by chapter basis.
Length: 14,000-ish for this chapter
Story Summary: On his way home from campus to his apartment on the Upper East Side, Blaine Anderson happens to come across a beautiful young man with bewitching blue eyes. It doesn’t take long, though, for everything Blaine thought was real to fall to pieces. For his world to dissolve into a twisted dance of fear and heat and blood.

Notes: So originally, this was supposed to be the first scene of about five or so planned for Chapter Eight. And then... yeahhh, it became pretty clear once I started writing that it needed its own chapter. This story just gets longer and longer! Just so that you know, the chapter division between parts one and two is entirely arbitrary because of LJ word limits: this chapter is one long scene, so it's best to just read through. One more thing: you know how I always say 'vampire AU with all the unpleasantness that entails'? Read the warnings this chapter.

For those interested, my tumblr is here. I tend to post updates there about how chapters are progressing. :3





Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Epilogue



--


When Blaine regains consciousness, it happens in bits and pieces.

Little details filtering through the thick layer of disorientation, slipping into his awareness like water through cracks. The sensation of something soft and sturdy underneath his back. The fact that his head is rolled sideways onto something, lolling against it whenever he twitches or shifts.

The sound of music playing quietly in the background.

At first, he hears it as though his ears are full of cotton wool – but after a few minutes, the fuzzy, distorted melody begins to clarify itself.

It is the music that wakes him up, in the end. His mind chases after the elusive sound of it like a white rabbit, internally frowning in concentration as he attempts to piece the broken rhythms and instrument tones into a pattern that makes sense. Eyes still closed but awareness beginning to breach sleep, Blaine furrows his brows as he follows the music back to wakefulness. It takes a few minutes, but eventually the song clarifies itself: old-fashioned instrumentals, crackly and slightly warbled. A slow, calm tune that reminds him inexplicably of black and white films. He shifts, turning his face further into the soft fabric rising and falling beneath his cheek.

“Good morning, pretty.”

The shape he’s tucked up against rumbles slightly against him as the words fill the air. It’s a familiar voice; high and teasing, with a hint of affection nudging at the edges. At once, Blaine’s whole body tenses. His eyes fly open – but the sudden brightness of the world beyond his eyelids makes him wince shut them again quickly. Something pulls him in closer, holding him more securely as he squeezes his eyes shut and coils up into himself. Into the shape of someone’s body, holding him close.

Now that he’s awake, Blaine becomes immediately aware of two things. First, there is the pain. Throbbing and pulsing behind his eyes like a physical presence that he could reach out and touch if he wanted. It aches and strains, and he lets out an inadvertent noise of discomfort as he tenses up again. Now that he’s aware of it, he has no idea how he managed to ignore it: the ache of it feels like something he could reach out and touch, run his fingers over.

Second of all, there come the memories of what happened. Of where he must be, and with whom.

Something cold and empty floods Blaine’s stomach.

Cautiously, he opens his eyes, keeping them narrow against the abrasive light. There isn’t too much he can see from this angle, but now that he’s aware of it... the shape that he’s curled into is unmistakably Kurt’s chest. Clothed, still wearing the dark button-up shirt, and for a bright white second Blaine isn’t sure whether or not he’s wearing clothes before he registers the sensation of his jeans and the soft fabric of his t-shirt rubbing against the sheets. They’re the same clothes they were wearing when he invited Kurt into his apartment, and –

And the set of emotions that clench and twist in his stomach at the reminder of everything that’s happened come and go too quickly to properly identify them. Dulled fear, and disorientation, and something hot and quick and constrictive that coils along his spine like a shiver.

The two of them are unmistakably lying in a bed together, sheets and duvet half on top of their fully-clothed bodies. Kurt is propped up a bit higher than he is, leaning-almost-sitting against a small pile of cushions. One arm is wrapped around Blaine’s shoulders, holding him snug so that Blaine’s head rests against his lean chest. Abruptly, Blaine becomes aware of a gentle pressure along his scalp; it takes him a few seconds to realize that it’s Kurt’s other hand, stroking through his hair idly. Sometimes tangling his fingers through the curls, other times rubbing in little circles along his scalp. The position would almost be sweet, like the snug embrace of a lover – except for the fact that Blaine has been unconscious for god knows how long.

“I can tell you’re awake,” murmurs Kurt, his high voice dancing on the air despite the softness of his tone. It mingles with the old-fashioned music around them, Kurt’s chest rising and falling very slowly as his fingers card through Blaine’s hair. “No need to pretend.”

“... I wasn’t,” Blaine denies quietly, wincing when the croaked words make the pounding in his head briefly increase. Trying to tell himself to remain calm – it’s over, it’s done, he remembers that now; there isn’t any point in running – he takes in a few slow, deep breaths that make the pain of it recede a little.

Focusing on his breathing makes him suddenly aware of the soft, elusive smell all around him; woven into the sheets, in the air, radiating off the body next to his and wrapped around Blaine’s senses like a blanket. It’s the smell of Kurt: all around him in a way he’s never experienced before, so close and right there, not a corner-of-his-mind memory. The entirety of that night so long ago – the night with the park bench, and the kiss that seared its way into his brain – is all washed out with the terror and horror and fear, so much fear, that came later. If he did get a chance to take note of Kurt’s smell, Blaine doesn’t remember it. It’s... hairspray, and fabric softener, and something quietly masculine beneath it all that might be cologne or might just be Kurt.

By all rights, Blaine should be terrified. The man – the monster, he tells himself, the monster – who has spent almost two months stalking him, tormenting him, murdering people to get to him finally has him trapped. Has him tangled so tightly in threats and promises that there’s no way he can even think of trying to run. God, Blaine should be terrified if only because Kurt has him in a bed; held him to his chest while he was helpless and knocked out for god knows how long.

Kurt is so close, like this. Where there used to be at least the fragile solidity of the door between them, now there is a whole body wrapped around him instead. The quiet physicality of it is overwhelming, after all the distance. Kurt can do anything to him here. Could snap his fingers one by one, or starve him, or tie him up and leave him in the same room for weeks and there would be nothing he could do. Blaine should be crying. Should be frantic, and hysterical, and begging for whatever he can get.

But it’s too late for any of that now. After such a long time of teasing and playing, Kurt has finally wrung Blaine out; has finally snapped the few threads that were keeping him together. And it’s not as though he’s any more helpless unconscious than he is wide awake.

So instead of panicked, all Blaine feels is surreal. Disoriented, and dazedly bewildered by the fact that he can still feel at all: that he’s still alive, despite everything. Still human.

That apparently, Kurt has more in store for him than simply turning him as soon as possible.

The fingers are still moving through his hair. Calmly, deliberately, and it’s almost a claim all by itself. I can do this to you. I can choose to give you affection.

“Why did you hit me?” Blaine asks after a long pause, wincing again as the pain throbs quietly harder for a moment. It isn’t as bad as it was when he woke up, though, and that’s something. He still feels slightly fuzzy, it’s true, but Blaine is not actively afraid of being chastised for asking. Kurt had said before that he wasn’t hiding anything from him, and Blaine believes those words more than ever now.

It isn’t that he’s safe here, with Kurt holding him to his chest like some kind of living doll. It’s that Blaine is so very, very far away from safe that it doesn’t matter anymore.

He gave himself over. Done now. No more.

“Mmm,” Kurt hums quietly, and Blaine has heard that noise before. A detached, noncommittal little acknowledgment, except... except there’s something underneath all that right now. Something low and intense that makes Kurt tighten his arm around Blaine’s shoulders reflexively. Kurt scoffs, and it comes out forced. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to try something stupid,” he declares, all in a rush, before tightening his grip ever-so-slightly more. “I was... done. With chasing you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Blaine states dully, shrugging his shoulders as much as he can in his current position. He stares over at the dark cream of the wall; he doesn’t know where his glasses are, and even though his vision isn’t bad enough to render him anywhere near completely blind, the room isn’t as clear as he would like. One more thing among a million that puts him at the disadvantage.

Kurt’s fingers are still carding gently through his curls. “I... I can’t fight, anymore,” says Blaine slowly, and it’s true. True in a bone-deep, exhausted way that goes far beyond whatever leverage Kurt might have over him. Blaine is... done. He simply doesn’t have it in him to keep struggling.

With his head still cradled on Kurt’s chest, Blaine can actually feel Kurt shiver at his declaration. It’s all so personal, like this. Being held close. He can feel every tiny moment, every shudder, every breath.

After a few frozen moments, Kurt begins to shift around him. Unwrapping and disentangling himself from Blaine’s body in a deliberately slow and gentle manner. Shifting his deceptively delicate-looking body out from under him, reaching over to position Blaine so that he’s lying sideways on the bed. Facing Kurt, now, with his sore head cushioned against the pillows. Then, in a careful way that almost reminds Blaine of a cat positioning itself down to go to sleep, Kurt lowers himself back down onto his side so that they’re lying on the bed facing each other. Their faces only a few inches apart, the two of them can look each other in the eyes like this.

And Blaine can finally make out the room around them.

Kurt’s bedroom – it has to be Kurt’s bedroom, it smells like him, it feels like him – is lit with soft lamplight, just like Blaine always dreamed it would be. But other than that, the space doesn’t quite fit the image he’s always had for it in his head. The windows are entirely blacked out with some kind of dark film or covering, with heavy brown curtains pulled back on either side. It gives the space a sense of stillness, of ever-evening; there’s no way for Blaine to tell what time it actually is. The room is also slightly more bare than Blaine had been expecting: handsome shelves with only a few strategically placed books accentuated with large ornamental chess pieces in bright accents of red. On the bed, the two of them are surrounded by a pile of brown and white sheets and blankets.

But all of that is distant and incidental around them compared to Kurt, lying on his side and staring at Blaine with heavily lidded eyes. Pale and defined and beautiful, Kurt looks strangely content as he trails his eyes over Blaine’s face. But that isn’t what catches Blaine’s attention; isn’t what makes his breath hitch in his throat. Instead, it is the reverence in Kurt’s eyes that makes Blaine want to squirm beneath his gaze. That makes his skin feel too tight and his fingers twitchy; makes him want to look away from that captivating, too-intense stare.

After a moment, the gentle touch of Kurt’s cool fingertips reaches up and brushes along the side of Blaine’s face. His fingertips are cool but soft, so soft as they drift along Blaine’s cheek.

“I didn’t hit you that hard,” says Kurt quietly, still holding Blaine’s gaze with such concentration that it’s starting to make him feel uncomfortable. The fact that he almost seems apologetic is enough to make Blaine’s head spin. There’s a small, private smile on his face that is so very different from the jeering, elastic grin from Blaine’s nightmares. Quiet, and close, and every time he blinks his eyelashes splay across his pale cheeks for the briefest of moments that each stand out like soft-focus snapshots in Blaine’s mind. His eyebrows, expressive and sculpted, furrow gently together. “I just wanted to get you on the ground; check to see if you’d decided to play the hero and... I don’t know, lay traps or something. But you went down like a rock.”

“Oh,” says Blaine blankly, the fingers still stroking idly up and down the side of his face.

For the first time, he wonders if Kurt has any intention of hurting him at all.

Despite his sleep in the middle of the day, Blaine had still felt utterly drained when Kurt finally arrived at his door. Finding Amita (don’t think about it), the panic attack, his call to his parents (don’t think about that don’t think don’t think don’t think) – all of it had driven him to the very edge of composure. The past weeks have been utterly destructive, and Blaine has been sleep-deprived and terrified out of his mind for so long. Add being convinced that he was about to be turned right away only to have that one bit of certainty ripped out from under him, and it isn’t too surprising that it didn’t take much knock him out – perhaps more from exhaustion and emotion than the actual impact of the hit.

“Does your head hurt?” Kurt asks, his fingers flitting lightly up to graze over his forehead, his brow line. The touch is so fleeting, it almost tickles. The throbbing behind his eyes has started to fade, though. Ebbing back into something manageable as they lie on the bed together.

“A bit,” Blaine admits, everything still surreal and strange around him.

And to his utter surprise, Kurt leans in close – and presses a soft kiss to his forehead.

“You don’t have to worry,” Kurt murmurs comfortingly against his forehead, lips grazing over the skin and sending little electric shocks of apprehension and heat down Blaine’s spine. His breath is becoming slightly laboured, voice full of intimate conviction. Seeming almost drunk on the sight and smell of Blaine in front of him. “Soon enough, a little bump on the head won’t be a problem anymore.” His hand slides down along the side of Blaine’s face, his jaw, down to the curve of his neck. Fingers stroking into his main pulse point with slightly too much dragging pressure.

Despite the fact that he had given himself up so willingly in the end, Blaine had never really thought ahead to the specifics of what surrendering himself to Kurt would entail. Vague notions of blood and pain and being played with, yes. But before, he had always assumed it would end with his death; that he would be one of a long lifetime’s worth of kills for Kurt. The information that Kurt wants him forever is so new and so utterly incomprehensible that he hasn’t managed to get his head around it yet.

Blinking hard and chest constricting, Blaine glances back up to see a heady, almost intoxicated look on the other man’s smooth features. Kurt licks his lips, eyes lingering at the spot where Blaine’s jaw meets his neckline. On his fingers pressed along Blaine’s pulse, the muscles of his neck. His pupils dilate and he sucks in a breath when Blaine swallows, his eyes following the movement of it. There are small spots of colour rising in the paleness of his cheeks, and he is visibly holding himself back from doing something.

“You don’t have to hold back with me anymore, sweetheart,” Kurt whispers intently, dragging his nails lightly over the sensitive skin, running his eyes over Blaine’s neck greedily. Drinking him all in. “Everything’s good now. Back to the way things were supposed to go.”

He grins, and all at once the world is twisting as Kurt moves lightning-quick, grabbing Blaine by the waist and yanking him over so quickly the Blaine can’t even register the movement. It’s too fast to process, and suddenly he’s lying right on top of Kurt with the other man looking up at him hungrily.

“Finally have you all to myself,” Kurt continues, almost smug as Blaine is still attempting to get his bearings. He’s firmly in Kurt’s grip, all of his weight pressing down on the body beneath him in a way that would probably be uncomfortable if it wasn’t for Kurt’s strength. Blue eyes flick down to Blaine’s lips briefly before coming up to hold his gaze again, and Blaine can feel a thumb rubbing little circles into his waist through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Their faces are close together like this; close enough to touch. “It was fun chasing you, beautiful thing, but having you...” His face is so close, now, that Blaine can feel the tickle of his breath. Slowly, Kurt brings up his free hand to rest along Blaine’s neck again, his fingers stroking deliberately over the skin. He inhales deeply, lets out a little shuddery breath of air that Blaine can feel against his lips, and smiles. “Having you is much better.”

When Kurt leans up and presses his mouth against Blaine’s, closing the few inches between them and bringing them that much closer, he is expecting it.

What is surprising, however, is how very easy it is for Blaine to let his eyes flutter closed, relax into the touch, and tentatively, tentatively, kiss back.

It’s like falling into a dream; as though one of the haunting, terrible visions of the two of them as nothing more than two ordinary people in love have come to life in glorious technicolour. Kurt’s body is lithe and solid beneath him, arching up appreciatively into the kiss once Blaine starts to respond. One of his hands stays on Blaine’s waist, the other stroking over his neck as though he’s something precious as their mouths press together, achingly familiar and so very new all at once. He lets out a high, satisfied noise right before he opens Blaine’s mouth with his own, sliding their tongues together sweet and soft and indulgent. A tiny shiver of pleasure twists along Blaine’s spine, and it’s the first time since he’s woken up that he’s felt anything other than empty and confused and resigned.

This feels right, like puzzle pieces fitting together. The smell of Kurt all around him and the gentle, scraping touch of his short nails dragging over Blaine’s throat as their mouths move and spools of heat begin to coil in his stomach. It’s easy, and instinctive, and Blaine is almost able to forget the full implications of who Kurt is. To fall back into the easy fantasy of who he used to think Kurt was; who he wanted Kurt to be so desperately.

It’s indulgent, almost sweet, and Blaine’s fingertips are starting to tingle as Kurt gently coaxes him past any hesitation he might have had. Soon enough, their mouths are moving together as though they were designed for each other; every tiny movement of Kurt’s lips against his making something warm and pleasant grow inside. A small, unintentional noise escapes from Blaine’s throat, and Kurt purrs in response against his mouth, his hand flaring on Blaine’s waist and pulling him closer. It’s easy to relax into this: to feel good, and be made to feel good, and not have to think about anything.

Until the pain of a bite jolts him back to himself.

It doesn’t hurt very much: it’s only Kurt worrying his lower lip between his teeth in what is clearly supposed to be a sensual way. But the sting of pain, as fleeting as it is, makes everything slam right back into sharp focus: the things Kurt has done, and threatened to do.

What Kurt intends to do with him.

All at once, Blaine becomes tremendously aware of the longing, attentive way Kurt’s fingers are stroking along his neck. Lingering on pulse points, nails scraping over the curve, thumb brushing carefully over his Adam’s apple. Against his will Blaine’s whole body stiffens and tenses, becoming rigid on top of him.

After only a moment of non-responsiveness, Kurt pulls away. A frown is stealing over his shining lips, eyebrows pulling together in confusion. His hands, however, stay right where they are. Caressing sly fingers along his neck and holding Blaine snug against his body all at once.

“So scared, pretty thing,” he murmurs softly, and Blaine cringes internally. Mentally curses his body, Kurt’s senses, everything that makes it so damn easy for Kurt to sense how he’s feeling. To know exactly what’s going on beneath his skin, in his brain. Kurt stares up at him curiously, lips visibly moist and slightly reddened from the kiss. A few hairs have escaped to brush over the pale skin of his forehead, and he looks so young like this. His fingers drag over the skin of Blaine’s neck, pressing into the main pulse point, and Blaine flinches. Kurt frowns. “What are you so scared of?”

The responses that could follow that particular question cannot be accurately summarized in a few sentences, and the fact that Kurt can’t guess – that he seems genuinely at a loss as to why Blaine could possibly be feeling this way – makes something small and unpleasant clench inside of him. He’s clearly waiting for an answer, though; head cocked to one side and staring up at him patiently.

Blaine wonders if Kurt can smell it when he lies. Or if he somehow just... knows him better than anyone else ever has, despite everything. Because of everything.

Either way, there’s nothing he can say except for the truth.

“I’m... scared of it,” Blaine admits after a pause, licking his lips and bracing himself to say the words out loud. “Scared of being like you.”

For a second, Blaine imagines Kurt’s angelic, sweet features stretching out into that grotesque, wrong face – before his mind supplies a whole new image. His own features, dark and soft, being corrupted in the same way; Kurt’s elastic, horrible smile spreading over his own lips. Blaine’s whole body shudders in response, recoiling away from the thought.

“Kurt,” he begins, and the name catches in his throat because he’s always held it back, before. Used it as a bargaining chip; only giving Kurt the satisfaction of hearing Blaine say his name when he desperately needed to offer him something up. But there isn’t anything left to offer, now. Nothing he can hold back. “Please, can’t you just... finish it now. Get it over with, make it done –”

“Don’t,” Kurt cuts him off in a low, warning tone. His body is tensing up beneath him, face lined with dark seriousness as he speaks. “I’m not rushing this.” His nails scrape down the skin of Blaine’s neck, just hard enough to chastise. A twist curls at his lips. “I told you. You don’t get to lead me on for months and expect me to make this quick, Blaine, you just don’t.” Kurt’s eyes are burning with conviction, lips growing tighter as he speaks. “I might get to have you forever, but I only get to have you like this once.”

Dread and relief are settling heavily inside like a lead weight, and Blaine sucks in a shaky breath. “Like what?”

Eyes roving over Blaine’s face, Kurt shudders underneath him. “Human,” he breathes out heatedly against Blaine’s lips, his hand tightening into the flesh of Blaine’s side.“All hot blood and breakable, so fucking breakable.” He arches his hips up, and Blaine sucks in a breath when he feels hardness press against his stomach. Kurt licks his lips, pressing right into the pressure point as he stares at his face and Blaine can feel the pump of his own pulse against his fingers. “Going to gorge myself on you, you made me wait so long. Want to bury myself in you and drink from you over, and over, and over. I want everything, Blaine, just like I told you. Everything.”

Pressed right up against Kurt’s solid body and so aware of the beating of his heart and his ragged breathing in the air, Blaine can feel something tightening in his chest. It isn’t going to be quick. It’s going to be messy. Drawn-out. Kurt wants to enjoy himself first. Apprehension tightens and twists in his stomach.

“How long –?” he begins, swallowing hard. His mouth feels suddenly dry. “How long until you–?”

“As long as I want,” says Kurt with utter confidence, practically preening; smirking like the cat who finally, finally has his cream. He rakes his eyes over Blaine’s body on top of him, hand fisting in his shirt. “Fuck, you smell so good,” Kurt snarls quietly, some of the ruthlessness of the past weeks coming back into his face. “So beautiful.”

And without any warning, he slides his hand up to grip at the back of Blaine’s neck and pulls him into a searing, claiming kiss.

It’s heated, and hard, and there’s a desperation to the way Kurt’s kissing him that’s almost as though he’s keening out loud. His tongue presses into Blaine’s mouth, needy and claiming and utterly familiar from dozens of dreams, teeth worrying along his bottom lip. Hard and intense and taking, but Blaine is reeling too much from as long as I want, and his brain won’t turn off, and he cannot reconcile any of this in his head. Cannot make sense of the Kurt who hunted him down and terrified him and sent him a heart in a box against the soft, sweet moments that make him pine and his mind spin and send the whole world out of alignment. None of this is easy, and none of this is right. Kurt killed his friend, and threatened to kill his parents, and yet...

And yet, Kurt isn’t hurting him now. Is kissing him instead, taking what he wants and what he wants isn’t pain, and Blaine doesn’t know what to feel. Because Kurt is a killer, and Kurt is a lover. He is neither, and he is both: a quiet ruthlessness woven insidiously through with a gentleness that makes Blaine’s head hurt.

Apparently it takes Blaine too long to start kissing back, because after a few stunned moments Kurt makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, hand clenching at the back of his neck.

“Don’t pretend you don’t want this,” Kurt growls against his mouth, biting down hard and grinding his hips up simultaneously. Blaine gasps out loud as a spark of pleasure jolts through him, mouth open and feeling sweat already begin to collect along his forehead. “I can smell you, remember? You never stopped wanting this, not the whole time. Not even when I killed, or hunted you, or took care of your little friend –” Blaine squeezes his eyes tight, tries to block it out, “—you have never stopped wanting this, Blaine. Don’t lie to me, I can tell.”

“I—” Blaine chokes helplessly, and when Kurt rolls his hips up again he can’t stop himself from groaning out loud. “Kurt,” he gasps, Kurt swallows it up, pulling him into another possessive drag of a kiss. Long and hard and deep, his tongue coaxing and dominating as he keeps up a steady rhythm, grinding them together in a way that makes Blaine gasp.

“God, that first night you were gagging for it,” Kurt groans, and Blaine whimpers wantonly at the truth of it. “I could’ve pushed you up against the alley wall and had you right there and you would’ve let me.”

It’s true, it’s so true it hurts, but Blaine can’t gather himself enough to say so. He nods, blinking dazedly as Kurt reaches down and starts to strip off his t-shirt.

“I had to run, remember?” Kurt pants, hands sliding up Blaine’s torso as he helps him work the shirt off, and Blaine can tell from how hard he’s shaking that he’s barely holding onto himself by a thread. “Came so close to just biting you on the sidewalk, you know that? But I –” he lets out a high, breathy noise as soon as Blaine’s shirt is off and thrown off to one side, hands sliding over his torso as though he’s been given the very best present in the whole world. “— I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop. I was so hungry, you smelled so good, and I’d drink you dry and I couldn’t do that, needed you with me always. You smell like mine, you smell like perfect, there’s no one else in the world like you –”

Despite being on top, Blaine is basically pinned like this; Kurt is strong enough to control every movement, every touch, and all Blaine can do is gasp and kiss and roll back into it. His hands on Blaine’s skin are as unmovable as the mountains, and there’s a frantic desperation bleeding through his every movement.

It makes him sick, and wrong, and disgusting for still wanting Kurt, after everything. After the people he killed, and the lives he ruined, but Blaine can’t help it. And he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s deranged, or if it’s something of Kurt’s nature that’s wriggled into his mind and twisted under his skin. Maybe it’s neither, maybe it’s both, he’ll never know. Because he has been tortured for so long by the horrible, horrible fact that he’s still wanted Kurt through all of it, through everything, and now?

Now, the only thing he can do is give in.

And below him, Kurt’s eyes are starting to bleed through with red.

“Need you,” Kurt growls, his high voice deepening with want and certainty and harsh desperation. When he opens his mouth, eyes blown completely through with red, Blaine can see that two of his teeth have elongated and sharpened in his mouth. Glinting bright white in the half-light of the room, and the instinct to run run run run run seizes at his whole body. He tenses up in Kurt’s arms, the knowledge of what is about to happen pounding in his veins. “Need you, need you, need you –”

But Kurt’s whole body is shaking violently. Panicked apprehension is bursting in Blaine’s mind, but there’s nowhere to run. Nothing to do, no way to stop it, and he’s not even sure if he wants to stop it. Without another word, Kurt twists his hand through his curls, yanks him down, and buries his face in the side of Blaine’s neck.

The sudden piercing pain of fangs puncturing into his neck makes him cry out with a wrecked, strangled noise at the sudden sharpness of it. Slicing easily through the skin, stabbing into him and making his whole body spasm, and Blaine can’t suppress the instinct to try to thrash away from the pain. Flailing and bucking, trying to strain away; off Kurt, away from the feeling of something cutting into him, into one of his body’s most vulnerable places. But Kurt seems to be expecting it; holds him in place as he whines and gasps and tries to twist away, face pressed right up into the curve of Blaine’s neck and biting down.

As soon as the skin is broken, Kurt groans headily against his neck, against the open wound in a way that makes Blaine cry out again at the vibrations. Shuddering, he can feel the hot wetness of his own blood spilling out from the punctures, into Kurt’s waiting mouth as his hands fist in Kurt’s shirt, the sheets, anything he can hold onto. Through the shock of it, Blaine can hear Kurt swallowing against him; drinking down the initial flood of hot blood into his mouth. A few drops are sliding down his neck, dripping onto Kurt’s chest beneath him, and a tiny whimper escapes from his throat.

The sharpness of the pain is starting to smooth over into an aching, drawn-out throb that pounds in his neck, in his head, right through to his fingertips. Kurt holds him tight, right up against his chest until Blaine stops struggling; until that useless, instinctual need to run can be conquered and shoved down and suppressed. Kurt’s hands are unmovable forces as they hold Blaine in place, holding him close and tight and real.

And slowly – after a long pause that fills the room and vibrates in every nerve – Kurt begins to suck down.

It is like every one of the past two months’ dreams all at once. The sweet, the sensual, the horrific, the painful. Mouth hanging open and face slick with sweat, Blaine gasps at the dragging, aching sensation of blood being drawn out of him, leaving his body, being swallowed down. It hurts, the too-much pull and throb of it reducing the entire room to the single point where Kurt’s mouth meets his neck; but it also makes something hot and coiled grip and twist in the base of his stomach. Something wrong and real and heated, spiking up every time the pressure of Kurt sucking edges higher. He sags down against Kurt’s chest, throat tender and pulsing as the greedy mouth pulls him all down.

There’s a loud, ragged noise in the room, and it takes Blaine far too long to realize that it’s his own voice. Groaning out wordless, meaningless noises that struggle helplessly out into the air. It’s starting to feel cold, a chill that starts in his neck but keeps sliding down into his chest, his arms, his legs. So much at once and it’s twisting, the whole room is skewed and sideways as he slumps against Kurt’s chest and doesn’t struggle and black and white spots swim in front of his vision.

When Kurt finally wrenches his mouth away, Blaine can hear him panting raggedly against his neck. There’s a high, satisfied little sigh – and suddenly the world is spinning violently. Blaine squeezes his eyes shut at the ways his stomach wrenches at the movement, and when he opens them again he’s staring up from the flat of his back with Kurt on top of him, face tucked back into the curve of his neck and mouth pressed back against the wound. Not sucking, not anymore, but stroking over it in languid swipes of his tongue that slide along the skin wetly and collect the blood still trickling out. He can’t do anything in response; can only stare up at the ceiling with heavily-lidded eyes as the room drifts at the edges and Kurt presses down into him.

Blaine is still aching, still bleeding when Kurt slides his mouth away. Blood slides lazily down his neck and soaks into the sheets below, but it’s nowhere near as much as before. Has no idea how much blood he’s lost, except for the tiny voice in the back of his head that says he always imagined that neck wounds would bleed more. He lifts a loose-wristed hand up to his own neck, hissing when he brushes the puncture marks and pulling his fingers back wet and slick. He holds his fingers in front of him and stares for a moment, fixated by the bright red. The wound isn’t where he thought it would be; it’s not over a main vein, but off to one side.

He blinks up in dazed confusion at Kurt above him. His face is close and beautiful, mouth smeared with bright streaks of blood – his blood. And the expression on Kurt’s face is absolutely sinful. He’s radiating satisfaction, delicate features all sagging and with no sign of the composure he usually wears like a constant mask to be found. He looks very much intoxicated, drunk on the taste of him: the red is gone from his eyes, but the bright blue that remains is heavily glazed. Hair tussled and tongue lolling out sloppily to collect the redness spread over his lips, it occurs to Blaine that he almost looks well-fucked.

“I...” Blaine tries to say, but it comes out as a tiny noise at the back of his throat instead. He blinks heavily. Before he can try to do anything else, however, Kurt is leaning in to kiss him messily on the lips.

There’s a delayed second before Blaine realizes what’s happening, and he starts to kiss back thickly before the strong coppery tang registers on his tongue. He chokes a bit at that, recoiling weakly, but Kurt just pushes in and keeps kissing him. Opening his mouth easily and sliding their tongues together, invading Blaine’s mouth with all the ease with which he just invaded his neck. His teeth are flat and human again.

“You’re so good,” Kurt murmurs breathily against him, languidly pressing open-mouth kisses to the corner of his mouth, his cheek, his jaw. Leaving little smears of wetness in their wake. “So good, just like I always imagined you would be.” Sliding down Blaine’s body, moving down to where his chest is exposed and naked in the lamplight. Kurt reaches over with a single finger to the wound on Blaine’s neck, swiping it along the two little marks and making Blaine wince at the jolt of pain. He brings his finger back wet, bringing it up to his lips and groaning as he sucks it into his mouth. Blaine’s cock twitches between his legs at the sight, and he feels too weak to feel shame.

“This is how it was supposed to happen,” says Kurt, going back to pay more attention to Blaine’s chest as he slides his way down his torso. Pressing little kisses, and soft licks, and biting down softly on one of his nipples as he works his way down; making Blaine arch up beneath him. “Before all my plans got spoiled. Just like this.”

When he reaches Blaine’s jeans, he can feel himself sucking in a startled breath. Kurt slides his tongue along the skin just above the waistband, hands trailing along his sides; skimming in a way that makes him shiver. His neck is still throbbing softly and he can’t quite get warm, but all of his body’s attention is beginning to shift lower. Kurt brings his hands down to the front of Blaine’s jeans, fingers drifting over the button. When Kurt looks up, he locks their eyes together and his mouth twists when he notices how Blaine is staring down at him in wonder. A smug, entitled little smirk nudges at the corner of Kurt’s perfect mouth, still stained pink, as he stares at him.

“I’m going to take such good care of you,” he purrs, and begins to unbutton Blaine’s jeans.








Click here to continue to part two.


Comments

( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
cassidychase
Nov. 25th, 2011 02:31 am (UTC)
Holy fuck, this scene has me so turned on right now *drool*

I've never been one to enjoy bloodplay, but Vampire!Kurt is just hnnggg. Gah I dunno know what to do with myself.

all hot blood and breakable ~~ serious chills. *whimper* so turned on. why???

I love Blaine's resignation to the inevitable. He's still terrified but he knows there's nowhere to run so he's sort of accepted it and he's kissing Kurt back and *drool*

In some twisted corner (ok, not so much a corner but a large atrium, possibly a stadium or maybe Asia) in my mind that lives in the fantasy world, this scene is freaking gold. Rationally this should be horrifying but gah, just imagining this happening is got me so worked up.. i dunno even know what I'm saying anymore.

Team Vampire!Blaine!! Can't wait for that. Lol that i all started out feeling so scared and sorry for Blaine for going through so much trauma and now I'm are all like *drool* get him kurt, get him !!
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 08:50 am (UTC)
Aha, when I first read this comment all I could think was 'oh, just you wait! There's more coming, I promise!' XD

Didn't you mention really enjoying the blood-drinking in the dreams earlier, though? *confused* Huh! Maybe I'm confusing your comments with someone else's, because I could have sworn you were into that! I know that bloodplay has never been something I've been into before, but it's definitely essential for a vampire AU and I actually really, really found myself enjoying writing it here. *nodnod*

You're very right about Blaine, though. Nowhere to run, no way he could run with Kurt threatening his parents like that. And then there's nothing left to do but to surrender to it.

In some twisted corner (ok, not so much a corner but a large atrium, possibly a stadium or maybe Asia) <-- *LAUGHS SO HARD OMG*

Haha, your progression toward Blaine throughout the story has been so interesting!! XD Thank you so much for always letting me know what you think as it shifts and changes!
cassidychase
Dec. 31st, 2011 05:10 pm (UTC)
Hehe, Ikr? So much more awesome to come, well, it arrived already, so yea XD XD XD Enjoyed it so very much, as evidenced by the other comments I made XD

Bloodplay... Maybe it's my confusion between gore and blood drinking....I dunno, whenever I hear Bloodplay, the image that comes to mind resembles gore more I guess..... I love vampire blood drinking etc, just to clear up the confusion... Yea.. My bad there XD XD and yea, I almost certain I said that I love vampire blood drinking scenes XD hmm, I better remember that based on ordinary distinctions, I'm into bloodplay XD

Glad you enjoyed that analogy ramble XD , I was laughing so hard when I was writing that too. That was literally my thought process though. Twisted corner, no that's too small, so larger and larger and aw hell, largest continent makes more sense XD XD

Hehe, I think if you look back at my commenting, the progression is pretty clear. At first Blaine is all super scared and terrified and it's so easy to emphatise and want to protect him, cause you know, Blaine stan here (not that I'm not a Kurt Stan, but Kurt was hurting Blsine there so.). But then as the story continued and Klaine forever became apparent, woah! Switch sides!! because I will always ship Klaine harder than loving either of the characters individually. They are just too perfect together to pick one over the other.
ficcy
Nov. 25th, 2011 02:45 am (UTC)
The way Blaine just submits to it is making me all hot and bothered, damn. And I love how he still wants Kurt, that there's a part of him that hopes that Kurt was loving and human, instead of a monster. I really don't want Blaine to be a vampire. The way he is here, I think he'd just feel so tortured to turn into one.
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 08:52 am (UTC)
Mmmm, glad that Blaine's submissiveness in this chapter was doing nice things for you! But yes; there's very much a large part of Blaine that actively looks and seeks out the more human elements within this monstrous version of Kurt.

I am afraid, though, that Blaine's situation is getting quite precarious indeed... :(
frumiousme
Nov. 25th, 2011 03:04 am (UTC)
terrifyingly sexy.
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 08:52 am (UTC)
Thank you!
loonylevicorpus
Nov. 25th, 2011 04:26 am (UTC)
I AM FREAKING OUT IN TERROR AND EXCITEMENT AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED READING YET. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS FIC IS DOING TO ME???

I really, really would like to know what music is playing in the background when Blaine wakes up. I love the idea of vampire!Kurt owning an old record player.

ADLGHALKDFBWEIGSNBAELFNWBLDFKWEB he's laying on Kurt's chest!

"It’s a familiar voice; high and teasing, with a hint of affection nudging at the edges... Into the shape of someone’s body, holding him close."
It kind of breaks my heart to think that Kurt must have waited, and wanted, so badly and for so long, to find someone to be with. He may be a vampire but I'm sure that under his ruthless nature he's been lonely. And now he's finally found the one he wants, and is maybe realizing for the first time that he truly has been lonely. The way that he's set them up in this scene, laying together like lovers, it just makes me feel bad for him. Even though he's this terrible monster he feels something for Blaine and he thinks he's going to be doing him this great kindness, but Blaine's still terrified rather than being grateful and loving in the way Kurt wants him. The way he acted in previous chapters and suggested that he truly didn't understand why Blaine WOULDN'T want to be a vampire or felt any horror at what had happened in his own life - it gives him this innocent quality that just breaks my heart.

"The two of them are unmistakably lying in a bed together, sheets and duvet half on top of their fully-clothed bodies."
Once again, this is just so damn INNOCENT! I'm not sure if I'm totally off track here but Kurt could have stripped Blaine and played with him while he was sleeping (I'm sure that kind of control would be exciting), but he just put Blaine to bed and cuddled with him!

Although, I think a quality of vampires is that they are all a bit mad, so maybe he's just pretending to himself that he's caring for Blaine and things are going to get ugly soon. AHHH!!!

The beginning of this chapter is so serene and slow-paced, what with the music playing in the background and the way that Kurt is just taking his time, but under it a tone of frantic anticipation (that might be the writing or it might just be me) and GOD I AM DYING HERE. I love it. Once again, it's so much worse when Kurt is doing absolutely nothing and Blaine has no idea what is coming.

The fact that he almost seems apologetic is enough to make Blaine’s head spin. There’s a small, private smile on his face that is so very different from the jeering, elastic grin from Blaine’s nightmares. Quiet, and close, and every time he blinks his eyelashes splay across his pale cheeks for the briefest of moments that each stand out like soft-focus snapshots in Blaine’s mind.

I want to write Shakespearean sonnets about the image that this painted in my mind. Sweet baby Jesus. And the FEELINGS. Kurt's feelings and Blaine's feelings and my feelings there are so many FEELINGS.
loonylevicorpus
Nov. 25th, 2011 04:26 am (UTC)
"He grins, and all at once the world is twisting as Kurt moves lightning-quick, grabbing Blaine by the waist and yanking him over so quickly the Blaine can’t even register the movement. It’s too fast to process, and suddenly he’s lying right on top of Kurt with the other boy looking up at him hungrily."
And here Kurt is putting Blaine in the position of power when you'd expect him, as a predator, to want to dominate at all times. It's like he's trying to make Blaine more comfortable with the situation. He wants it to be as wonderful for Blaine as it is for him.

"The responses that could follow that particular question cannot be accurately summarized in a few sentences, and the fact that Kurt can’t guess – that he seems genuinely at a loss as to why Blaine could possibly be feeling this way – makes something small and unpleasant clench inside of him"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT AND IT BREAKS MY HEART.

"Because Kurt is a killer, and Kurt is a lover. He is neither, and he is both: a quiet ruthlessness woven insidiously through with a gentleness that makes Blaine’s head hurt."
I love this because it's so Kurt. Even though this story is so radically AU, it's so true to the characters.

"Without another word, Kurt twists his hand through his curls, yanks him down, and buries his face in the side of Blaine’s neck."
The only thing I can think right now is: Oh my god, it's actually happening. Kurt finally did it. I am stunned and disturbingly turned on and I MUST KEEP READING.

I'm clutching the side of my own neck right now as I read this lsdafanbowdskfvnwagvnb I can feel sympathy pains, I swear to god. And then there's the undeniable SEXY HOT GAY VAMPIRE SEX part. Whimpering and drooling at the same time is awkward and difficult.

"...with Kurt on top of him, face tucked back into the curve of his neck and mouth pressed back against the wound. Not sucking, not anymore, but stroking over it in languid swipes of his tongue that slide along the skin wetly and collect the blood still trickling out."
Now I'm panting and drooling and fanning myself desperately because DAMN. I think my vampire kink just went up by about 400 percent. Also I may now have a bloodplay kink because HNNNGGG and when Blaine realizes he's tasting his own blood... God this is so fucked up but I love it (I seem to say that much too often when reading your fic hahaha)

I want Blaine to be a vampire so badly.
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 09:17 am (UTC)
I AM FREAKING OUT IN TERROR AND EXCITEMENT AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED READING YET. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS FIC IS DOING TO ME??? <--- YES BB AND I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT! :D

I can safely say that vampire!Kurt definitely owns an old record player. In the same way that canon!Kurt is nostalgic for things like the Spice Girls and Britney Spears, this Kurt is very nostalgic for the cultural aspects that he grew up with.

And yes, the chapter opens with Blaine lying on Kurt's chest. You're so, so very right in that there's a very strange, very darkly innocent quality to Kurt in some ways. He's simply lacking the tools and morals to fully understand what Blaine is going through or feeling and even though he can remember his own experiences, he can't fully relate to them anymore. I think that it's obvious that Kurt does feel something very strong for Blaine, even if it's not any kind of healthy human love in its current form. He feels that he's doing something good, and kind, and special for Blaine -- but Blaine simply cannot feel the same way, and it doesn't make sense to him. Everything you say here is just perfect.

It kind of breaks my heart to think that Kurt must have waited, and wanted, so badly and for so long, to find someone to be with. He may be a vampire but I'm sure that under his ruthless nature he's been lonely. <-- this is perfect.

Once again, this is just so damn INNOCENT! I'm not sure if I'm totally off track here but Kurt could have stripped Blaine and played with him while he was sleeping (I'm sure that kind of control would be exciting), but he just put Blaine to bed and cuddled with him! <-- OH MY GOD I'm sorry to just quote your own review back at you, but I wanted to say that YES YES YES you are PERFECTLY on track here. The way that Kurt arranges Blaine innocently against his chest, all his clothes still on, and waits for him to wake up? That's... that's sweet, in a very twisted way. You're so right about the innocence. BANG on.

The frantic anticipation you describe really, really is there though. You're not imagining it; Kurt's had to wait a LONG time for this, and even though he doesn't want to rush it he's very eager to start. But of course poor Blaine, who has no idea what's going to happen.

Also, asmdjhajkshdkjahsd thank you a million for picking that line out. The one about soft-focus snapshots, askjdhakjsdhkjasdh. That... might be one of my favourite things I've ever written, so it means so much that it really stood out to you!
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 09:24 am (UTC)
I love how you highlight the unexpectedness of Kurt's pulling Blaine on top of him; the way it puts Blaine in the 'powerful' position. Because what I really think is important here is to realize that Kurt has nothing to prove. He doesn't have to assert his power over Blaine anymore, not really; not in the overt way he's already been doing. He has what he wants, and he's going to take it, and something as pedestrian and unimportant as who is physically on top is so utterly important it's not even worth considering. He wants Blaine closer, so he pulls him closer.

He wants it to be as wonderful for Blaine as it is for him. <-- and then, of course, there is this aspect as well. YOU ARE SO RIGHT YES.

And oh, Kurt. :( He just... can't quite comprehend Blaine's feelings, a lot of the time. He doesn't have the ability to. Not anymore. But I absolutely adore that you can still see the Kurt in him, oh my gosh. Thank you, thank you, THANK you so much.

And yes, Kurt finally -- FINALLY -- bites Blaine here. And oh, how he's waited for this. I'm beyond delighted that the pain of it really came through, because I do think that's something that a lot of vampire media tends to gloss over. (You know, that being stabbed and having your blood rudely sucked out of you actually hurts like a bitch.) But at the same time, I'm so completely delighted that the sexuality and pleasure of it comes through as well. (When you mention enjoying the fact that Blaine can taste his own blood? Hnnnnnnngh, I never knew I had a vampire!kink either, but apparently I do because that line was SEXY to write.)

Thank you SO much for your detailed feedback, love! I'm so sorry for the long wait on a reply!
fara1903
Nov. 25th, 2011 07:38 am (UTC)
That was so hot! What was Kurt talking about with this is the way it should be his plan got spoilt?
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 09:26 am (UTC)
Do you remember, way back in Chapter Two, when Kurt is outside Blaine's door for the very first time? And how he's very upset that Blaine found out he was a vampire when he killed that man on the street?

Here is the scene that sentence is referencing:

“Why me?” asks Blaine quickly, forcing the words out into the air. “What do you want from me?”

A low, pleasurable noise floats through the divider between them.

“Everything,” whispers Kurt. The word a drawn-out exhalation of heat and certainty, and it takes all Blaine has not to gag at the idea of what everything is to a monster like him. Kurt laughs again, chiming and sweet. “I had all these plans, you know. It was going to be romantic for you. Candles, and flowers. Whispered words as I took you to my bed and had you. And then, at that very special moment...” His voice cuts off into a hummed noise of pleasure. “It would have been perfect. Something to cherish. I’m very upset that it’s been spoiled.”


Thank you so very much for reading! :)
fara1903
Dec. 31st, 2011 09:28 am (UTC)
Yes bb, thanks! I do remember that particular conversation!
(Deleted comment)
emilianadarling
Dec. 31st, 2011 09:28 am (UTC)
Haha, that's a very interesting soundtrack to have stuck in your head for this particular chapter! Perhaps this song would be the most appropriate? ;)

Thank you so very, very much my love! I'm so glad that you found this chapter hot, and that you enjoy my writing. Thank you a million for reading!
amordemealma
Nov. 25th, 2011 07:57 am (UTC)
It's late, and I'm planning on getting up early for black Friday shopping, but whatever. I really, really want to read this now, so I'm going to. I hope I'm awake enough to give a cohesive review. :P

Oh man, I kinda hate for this to be my first comment, but... holding him more securely as squeezes his eyes shut and coils up into himself...Is there supposed to be a he between as and squeezes? Sorry, I'm done beta-ing now I swear! *ducks head in shame*

While I'm hear though I love this opening. The slow drift to consciousness, the fact that he's sleeping against Kurt and Kurt is just holding him...Does Kurt even go to sleep that night or does he just hold him contentedly, watching him sleep from time to time, drinking him all in, trying to believe it's all real, that He finally has Blaine in his arms and soon they'll be together forever? not going to lie, I actually kind of like that idea. I am wondering why Kurt felt the need to knock Blaine out. Like was he afraid that Blaine would go back on his word and not follow him willingly or what?

The music, played on on a record player or just a really old recording? And I'm assuming you have a song in mind that he's waking up to...Care to tell? I'm really interested in that sort of thing. I love music, I have internal soundtracks for everything so when an author tells us there's music in the background I automatically want to know what that music is to set the mood correctly. For now though, til you tell me differently, I'm hearing Billy Holiday's I'll be seeing you. Fun fact. :)

 The position would almost be sweet, like the snug embrace of a lover – except for the fact that Blaine has been unconscious for god knows how long.
I love this sentence. Because the whole situation screams of intimacy and love and care... but it's all forced and one sided. Kurt wants this to be special, and it will be for him...but it can never be for Blaine because of the mind games Kurt has played to get Blaine to agree to this. Blaine stays curled up in Kurt's side because he feels like he has no other choice. And Kurt ignores this fact and deludes himself into thinking that Blaine deep down wants this as much as he does. And maybe there's an element to that, But he'll never know for sure because he knocked Blaine out to get them to this point instead of letting Blaine make the conscious decision to follow willingly.

The man – the monster, he tells himself, the monster
And after all this Blaine still has to remind himself that Kurt isn't human. He has to remind himself of everything that Kurt has done, and he can't even bring himself to be terrified. Oh. My. God. The things that does to me, I don't know if I can even put it properly into words. It's just so... It sets a tone for this chapter. What's coming how it's all going to read. The fact that we know that Blaine is going to be changed soon, but he's there and he's not scared anymore and he still somewhere deep down is in love with Kurt, or at least the idea of Kurt. Wow.

Or you know...just resigned to his fate. What you said wrote works too...but I don't know... I like the idea that part of the terror not being there has to at least in part, do with the fact that Blaine loves the idea of Kurt. Because I think that's really what it is for him. He can't love Kurt himself yet because of what he's done to torment and terrify Blaine, But there was that time before Blaine knew what Kurt was, when it was exciting and new and here was this gorgeous creature that was interested in him. It was amazing for him that that memory, although distorted by the terror afterward and pushed down and away has always been there, has been the driving force behind the inexplicable desire he's felt in the dreams. It's why he feels want and need for him, why he comes up with scenarios in his head where Kurt is human. He loves the idea of Kurt, of being loved and wanted and loving someone in return, so his subconscious comes up with situations where it can and does work for them to be together.
amordemealma
Nov. 25th, 2011 08:29 am (UTC)
It isn't that he's safe here, with Kurt holding him to his chest like some kind of living doll. It's that Blaine is so very, very far away from safe that it doesn't matter anymore. Exactly this. Wow. I love how you stated that. Blaine has no need to steer away from certain things in order to keep Kurt from getting angry, because before keeping Kurt's anger at bay was a matter of survival. He's not going to survive now, not in human form anyways, so there's no need to worry. Because either way, his life as a human is going to be over.

Again, I love the uncertainty in Kurt. He finally has Blaine where he wants him but because of the things he's done to get him there, he can never be sure if Blaine is truly done fighting, or if he's trying to be brave and play Kurt in one last stupid attempt to save his life. So he uses the only thing he knows, brutality and force, to make sure the situation turns out the way he wants to.

This of course causes conflict in me and many of your readers I'm sure as we all want to see this as some sort of love story. And Kurt too, I think In some respects sees it that way. It doesn't seem off to him to see it otherwise because his human nature that would see the situation differently is no longer there. He doesn't have that filter of wrong or right. But in actuality, it's this twisted, convoluted thing that if you really stop and thing about it, is rather creepy and wrong. I mean, if any of us were to hear on the news a story a man, just a regular human being doing the things that Kurt has done to Blaine, we'd all be thoroughly disgusted I'm sure. But it's Kurt and Blaine, and Kurt's a vampire, so it makes it all okay right? Right?

But honestly, It's that twisted nature of the story, a horror story with elements of a twisted love mixed in, that make this story so darn fabulous. Ever thought of being a horror fiction writer? You'd be fabulous at it. (and of course, I and many of your readers would read any original fic that you put out. Seriously. I'll follow you to the end of the age. You'll write a book and get it published, and a few weeks later in the mail you'll get a package, it was meant to be a letter, but it turned into the size of a short book, of all my thoughts and feelings while reading your novel. Seriously, I'd do it. Considering in the last week I think I've written more words commenting on your story then writing my own I think I might have a career in writing in depth analysis' of your works.) sorry, I digress. Back to your story.

Kurt's fingers are still carding gently through his curls. “I... I can't fight, anymore,” says Blaine slowly, and it's true. True in a bone-deep, exhausted way that goes far beyond whatever leverage Kurt might have over him. Blaine is... done. He simply doesn't have it in him to keep struggling.
So I was struck inexplicably with the similarities and parallels to my most favoritest dream sequence a few chapters back where Blaine was lying in Kurt's bedroom, Blaine exhausted and admitting that he was tired. And Kurt just holding him and saying 'I know.' Blaine here is tired. It's bone deep and he can't muster up the energy to fight anymore. So he doesn't he gives up and he's all Kurt's. It's such a poignant picture. And brilliant foreshadowing btw. Even if we didn't know that that's what you were doing at the time. I hope for your sake more people pick up on that tidbit, because it's a brilliant piece of writing.
amordemealma
Nov. 25th, 2011 08:53 am (UTC)
I was wondering if Blaine's version of Kurt would match up with reality, and I'm kind of glad it doesn't. Having it be so different from Blaine's imagination really brings to the forefront how distorted Blaine's perception of Kurt is. Kurt's room the way it is makes him more...human and tangible, less monster I think, where as before, in Blaine's dream, with the red silk sheets and the romanticized setting, it made Kurt more of...a sexual being, elevated to something else. Not that Kurt isn't that, Blaine (and all of us readers) have kind of put Kurt in this box... that Kurt is nothing more than a vampire who only cares about blood and killing and sex, and... I don't think that's true. Kurt was Human once, and even if he doesn't feel things as a human, he still has all of his human memories, and every once in awhile we see a human side to Kurt still. He still maybe feels regret over some things, like his father. He feels affection and possibly love towards Blaine. It's mostly lust, but I don't think Kurt would be so concerned with making sure that Blaine's transformation was special if there wasn't some affection there. So it's nice to see his room simply decorated to reflect that part of him that we haven't necessarily seen.

I love that moment after Blaine takes in his surroundings, and it's Kurt that's captivated his attentions. It's the reverence that makes his breath catch and makes him squirm with the intensity of it. Because I think that this is the first time Blaine has seen that from Kurt. It isn't hunger and want and lust, it's...well you picked the perfect word when you said reverence. Because it's that exactly. Kurt is taking the opportunity to drink all of Blaine in and he's so awed to finally have him there in his arms. There's no need to rush. He's taking his time. Soaking up all of Blaine's humanity, everything that made Kurt want to make Blaine his forever. It's like he's worshiping Blaine in that look. And that can be intense. No wonder Blaine was squirming under his gaze. It's a lot for him to take in.

“I just wanted to get you on the ground; check to see if you’d decided to play the hero and... I don’t know, lay traps or something. But you went down like a rock.”
And we have once again run into one of those moments where if I read the whole damn thing and then commented like a regular human being instead of commenting as I go, my question about why Kurt knocked Blaine out would have been answered. But then, I'm positive I'd forget 95% percent of what I wanted to say, and you'd get a 'ashagarhgiagrhuo' oh my God...I.....words...none....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! This is fantastic!' response instead of my epic rants about your writing. (not that there's anything wrong with those responses, I'm rather fond of those sometimes, and there are times when that is completely acceptable and called for. But with a writer like you who puts so much thought and time not that others don't but it's more evident in some stories than in others not only into your writing, but your responses back to your readers, it seems such a shame to not give the review the same amount of love and care that you put into this.) Actually I think the reason why I don't leave these types of responses on everybody's fics is because it is a lot of work. I'd basically have to stop writing my own stories and just focus on writing reviews for everybody... Hmmmmmm...Maybe I'm going into the wrong career. I shouldn't be a pastry chef, I should be a reviewer! For fan fiction? Can you get paid for that? Cause that actually sounds like an awesome career. I digress again. Sorry. Back to reading.

Also, I love that Kurt doesn't really realize his own strength. To him, he didn't use much force at all, but in actuality, it was a lot. It's almost if he forgot that he was a vampire with super strength, that or he forgot that Blaine is still human.”

And that line about Blaine wondering if Kurt intends to hurt him at all. HHHHNNNNGGGG! Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. Kurt's going to make it soooooo good for you, you have no idea.
amordemealma
Nov. 25th, 2011 09:44 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness, I'm on my forth comment box and I'm barely half way done with part one! I seriously need to figure out how to reign in the crazy when I write these I think

Add being convinced that he was about to be turned only to have that one bit of certainty ripped out from under him
Slight confusion here, and I need clarification please. Is turned supposed to be killed, like he was convinced of that all the way along only to find out otherwise, or are you talking about the more short term were he thought that Kurt would turn him right away without all the foreplay? oh my God Foreplay. There is so many connotations to that I can't even. Foreplay to sex and the transformation and now my head is exploding. Excuse me.

Kurt's tenderness after asking if Blaine's head hurt, and that little kiss to make it better, oh my Lord. What are you doing to me? It's so hard to keep the fact that Kurt is a vampire and a monster into perspective when he does things like that. No wonder Blaine's been struggling with that fact.

“Everything’s good now. Back to the way things were supposed to go.”
UNF! Wow. Yes just yes. Like I said in my chapter 6 review, Kurt promised romance, and Kurt always keeps his promises.

And the way he flips Blaine so quickly, takes control of the situation, turns it from sweet and loving to passionate and needy all in a matter of a split second. It's just...wow. It's hot. Really, really hot.

It’s like falling into a dream; as though one of the haunting, terrible visions of the two of them as nothing more than two ordinary people in love have come to life in glorious technicolour
I think I'm about to resort back to GIF posting pretty soon if you keep this up. Because this sentence...the foreshadowing you've done in this story, everything, all the dreams that seemed to be just a product of Blaine's subconscious has all been leading up to this one scene, this one moment. And it's so glorious. I just...wow. I can't even. I don't think I'll ever stop singing praises for your amazing ability. seriously, why aren't you an English major with a book about to be published? This fandom is so incredibly lucky to have you. So lucky.

And the tentativeness of Blaine responding and kissing Kurt Back is glorious. Because it's what he wants, what he has wanted, for a very long time now, but I think he knows if he should want this. It's hard because it all feels so...wrong. As you said slightly later, up until now he hasn't really wanted this, or at least known that he has, and has been more resigned to the fact that this is going to happen rather than anticipating and willing it to happen. And that moment when he realizes that it feels right and that he wants it as much as Kurt is so amazing.

Blaine is almost able to forget the full implications of who Kurt is. To fall back into the easy fantasy of who he used to think Kurt was; who he wanted Kurt to be so desperately.
Thank you for this sentence. That's all I have to say on that matter.

I love Kurt's confusion over Blaine's reaction and his being scared. It's almost as if he thinks that letting Blaine know exactly what's going on will ease the terror of the moment when he's being changed instead of amplifying it more. Like he thinks he's doing Blaine a kindness taking away the surprise element. I'm not sure if he is. Because it still isn't a choice. If Blaine willingly chose this it'd be different, but he didn't so it's not. In fact, knowing it's coming but not not being ready for it might actually make it worse.

Dread and relief are settling heavily inside like a lead weight
The duality of this is so striking. It doesn't seem possible to feel both of those things at the same time, but dual feelings I think are more common than I we tend to think they are. Like...have you ever been completely 100% happy for someone, but at the same time completely 100% unhappy for yourself, because while you'd never begrudge them the happiness that they have, you can't help but want that for yourself, and you're so devastated that you don't have that? Sorry, I think that's the best comparison I can come up with for the reasoning behind the conflicting emotions that Blaine is feeling.
amordemealma
Nov. 25th, 2011 10:30 am (UTC)
And now on to comment box number five. It's a new record for me Emiliana, and I'm not even off of part one yet. (it's also almost 2 in the morning and like I said, I want to be up early, so I think part two is going to have to wait till tomorrow, but I'll at least finish part one.)

 It isn’t going to be quick. It’s going to be messy. Drawn-out. Kurt wants to enjoy himself first
Again, I'm forcibly reminded of a point in an earlier chapter, I think it was chapter 6, where Kurt says that he's going to drink from Blaine over and over, and eventually yes, Blaine will die. I remember getting the distinct impression that it wasn't going to be one bite. One drink and then done. Kurt wanted to savor it. Drink a little. Let Blaine recover enough so that they could have more sex, then drink a little bit more. I'm so glad that my impressions were correct. You have no idea how ridiculously happy that makes me. Which is weird, because Bloodplay and vore are not particularly some of my kinks...but somehow the idea of it in this particular story and situation...oh baby yes!

Oh and Kurt calling Blaine out on his wanting this the whole time. I love it. But it's such a real situation because sometimes the body will respond to things and want things that the Head is not ready for. And I think that's exactly what's going on with Blaine in this situation. His body wants it, and Kurt can smell that, but it doesn't mean that he can read Blaine's thoughts, and it doesn't compute to Kurt that you can want and not want something at the same time.

And as you so eloquently stated in your story (I kind of hate using that word, because it feels...belittling to the masterpiece you're writing) there is so much duality in the things that Blaine is feeling and thinking. That whole paragraph about he threatened to kill his parents and hurt him and killed his friend, but he isn't hurting him now...Wow. That's deep shit..and that was a completely superficial comment for such a deep thought. God, I'm tired. I need to go to bed.

Oh my God, Kurt slowly turning into his vampire form from sheer lust and need and desperation, and his shaking holding back. *dead* you've sufficiently killed me with that one. I guess my ghost will just have to come back and finish this comment for me.

The biting scene.

Photobucket

holy hell woman! Welcome new kink that always kind of used to disgust me. I swear only you could make me find that hot.

I was struck with the thought...because we know Kurt wants to draw this out. Feasting as much as possible. And I already kind of stated that I thought Kurt might let Blaine heal in between feedings so that he could make this last as long as possible...I can foresee a time when Blaine still Human, has been fed on so much that the initial pain of being bitten doesn't even register any more. It turns him on. And that is both kind of disturbing and hot at the same time.

Also Blaine blacking out. Awesome. And I love his surprise that Kurt didn't bite a vein. Like it still hasn't registered what Kurt meant by taking his time. Also Finding Kurt hot and beautiful when his face is smeared in Kurt's blood? Kinky Blaine. Very Kinky. And the twitch of his cock. Oh sweet lord have mercy.

And that end...why? Why do I have to sleep? Sleep is overrated. It really is. But alas, RL beckons. La sigh.
I promise to come back Saturday (because I have to work all day tomorrow only to be at work the next day at 4 am) to read part to and leave a thorough comment there as well. I'll try to be...less enthusiastic in my commenting? Unless you like the crazy comment that is bordering being as long as the first part of your story...

This is all fabulous dear. And exactly what I've been waiting for. You have no idea.
emilianadarling
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:39 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh, YOUR REVIEWS. :O I cannot even believe how incredibly excellent and awesome your pair of reviews are for this chapter, hon! And I’m SO SO SO sorry for the long waittime in getting my response, seriously. I’ve been so crazy busy lately, but wheee!! I finally have time to respond! Thank you a million for your patience, and for sticking with me and taking the time to leave these awesome pieces of feedback. <3 (Also, lol, don’t be ashamed for pointing out typos! I ask you to. XD This chapter in particular was awwwwwful during my revisions, I’m very grateful!)

Mmmm, I’d definitely say that Kurt knocked Blaine out in order to make his transport easy, if you don’t believe him about not intending to knock Blaine out. Check for traps, make sure he wasn’t being played, transport Blaine easily. I mean, there really was no way for Blaine to resist or fight anymore. But it was just going to be easy if he could be unconscious and Kurt could easily transport him. (Just read ahead and saw that you like the idea of Kurt not knowing his own strength, which TOTALLY works too! :) Another case of us not really knowing what’s going on because we can’t see inside Kurt’s head, haha.)

But I’m actually going to agree with you that Kurt doesn’t sleep between him getting Blaine home and Blaine waking up. He just... watches, and drinks him in, and smells him, and basks in having Blaine there. And the music was played on a proper record player and everything. ;) Vampire!Kurt is nostalgic for the music he grew up listening to in the same way that Canon!Kurt is, haha. I have a few songs in mind with that particular scene, actually; I have an album called Love Songs of the War Years, and any of them would have been pitch-perfect.

I love that you elaborate on the ‘this should be sweet, but it isn’t because of all these reasons’ aspect. It’s very, very prevalent in this chapter, for sure. For Kurt, though, I think that he is definitely looking ahead with regards to Blaine’s reciprocation – looking ahead to when Blaine’s like him, when none of the coercion or threatening will matter anymore. But you’re very right about the underlaying uneasiness with all of this, for sure. *nodnod* And a lot of it really is genuinely intimate, too. Blaine still has to remind himself that Kurt is a monster, at points – but really, what is the point in fixating on that anymore? It won’t change anything. Actually, I loveloveLOVE that you picked out and talked about the way Kurt and Blaine interacted in Chapter One, back when Kurt’s nature was still a secret. Because I think that their interaction there says a LOT about their relationship, actually. For both Blaine and Kurt!

Blaine has no need to steer away from certain things in order to keep Kurt from getting angry, because before keeping Kurt's anger at bay was a matter of survival. He's not going to survive now, not in human form anyways, so there's no need to worry. <-- this this this this THIS! Blaine isn’t going to survive, and he knows it, so there are some things that are open to him now that weren’t before.
emilianadarling
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:40 am (UTC)
I mean, if any of us were to hear on the news a story a man, just a regular human being doing the things that Kurt has done to Blaine, we'd all be thoroughly disgusted I'm sure. But it's Kurt and Blaine, and Kurt's a vampire, so it makes it all okay right? Right? <-- the distortion of human morality is actually one of my very favourite things to write about in this story, funnily enough. The fact that, if a normal person was doing this? Oh my god, SO MANY MORE PEOPLE would be horrified. But there is something inherent about Kurt’s nature that makes it IMPOSSIBLE for him to feel things the same way, to see morals the same way. It’s quite a disturbing idea! But I loooooove the fact that you point out that it’s a horror story with twisted love mixed in, oh yessssss. Thank you! I’m SO happy you enjoy the horror elements! Ajkdhakjdhkjashd, you’re lovely. <3

I knew you would really enjoy the fact that that fave-dream sequence of yours was a lot of foreshadowing. <3 Poor Blaine – he just can’t fight anymore, he’s too tired and worn down. I love that you enjoyed that!

Actually, thank you very much for saying that real!Kurt is different from Blaine’s idea of dream!Kurt. Seriously, thank you so much. I really did try quite hard to characterize the two of them slightly differently, because dream!Kurt ISN’T real!Kurt. I’m so glad you picked up on how distorted Blaine’s perception of him has been, and is. AND YOU NOTICED THE RED SHEETS AND WHAT THEY MEANT AND HOW IT’S NOT LIKE THAT IN REAL LIFE YAY!!! Blaine definitely imagined Kurt as being so much more sexual and monstrous, but there are a whole lot of aspects of Kurt’s life that go beyond just sex or just killing. He’s a bit more... human than that, actually. He’d have to be, living for so long! He has to do some things to occupy all of his time! And I really like the fact that you mention that, yes, we HAVE even seen a more emotional side to Kurt in the past. Talking about his father, as you say – he definitely feels something there, even if he can’t totally figure it out. He definitely cares for Blaine in some way that goes beyond blood and sex.

I love the words you use, by the way. ‘Reverence’ and ‘worshipful’, they’re so very accurate for how Kurt is acting toward Blaine here. And it’s another thing that the reader hasn’t really SEEN so much before, from Kurt. It’s a whole lot to take in for Blaine, too, as you say.

It’s DEFINITELY a huge amount of work leaving these huge comments, love, and I really appreciate it! It’s a lot of work to respond to them too, oh my goodness. It’s why I’m so terribly behind! And FIVE COMMENT BOXES ON PART ONE. Oh my god, you champ!!!!!

In regards to this line: ‘Add being convinced that he was about to be turned only to have that one bit of certainty ripped out from under him’, no no no! It isn’t supposed to be ‘killed’, it’s supposed to be ‘turned’. But, like... turned right away. The short time when he thought Kurt would turn him right away. :3 But heeee, so glad you liked the little kiss to make his head better. <3 OH VAMPIRE!KURT.
emilianadarling
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:40 am (UTC)
all the dreams that seemed to be just a product of Blaine's subconscious has all been leading up to this one scene, this one moment. <-- I am SO happy that you felt all of the buildup has been sufficiently paid off, heeee. <3 All of the dreams, the anticipation, all leading to this. And I love your intense excitement over all of the ‘foreplay’ (mmm) that’s about to happen, haha!!

seriously, why aren't you an English major with a book about to be published? <-- you are incredibly sweet!! <3 Thank you!

I’m so happy that you enjoy all of the tentativeness and confusion and final submission, oh yes. Thank you a million – and also for Kurt’s confusion over Blaine’s human emotions. He just... he just doesn’t quite understand them, really. He tries, but he can’t get a handle on them in the same way. And your impression about an extended period of savouring Blaine was definitely very, very true. ;) I mean, he chased Blaine for a LONG time. One drink and done = NOT for him. And he knows that, at least physically, Blaine has wanted this. All of the wet dreams, and the fantasies, and almost-opening-the-door – no, part of Blaine has wanted this STILL since that time on the street.

Also, akjsdhkajhsdkjhas, vampire!kink has never been a thing for me before UNTIL I WROTE THIS FIC. Wow. Well. Erm. Akjdhsakjdhkjsa. So glad you enjoyed it too. Totally right about the reason for not biting a vein, too. THAT WOULD BE TOO QUICK, SILLY BLAINE.

I still can’t believe that you had to take a break in between parts one and two, you poor thing!! Aha, especially since it’s all one big scene. <3 But sleep is definitely very important. Again, thank you SO MUCH for leaving this incredible comment as well as your one on chapter two. I LOVED reading it, and I’m so sorry I’m so late with responding!!!!
pingback_bot
Nov. 25th, 2011 04:14 pm (UTC)
Meanwhile in Canada...
User hello_mcee referenced to your post from Meanwhile in Canada... saying: [...] 48,500 words) Before she wrote the most amazing Klaine vampire fic (still WIP but updated yesterday [...]
chazzamba
Nov. 25th, 2011 10:09 pm (UTC)
Holy sweet fuck, how can you just WRITE like this? This is fast becoming my favorite fic of yours, and that is really saying something. This is heartbreaking and tender and hot and terrifying and glorious and delicious and how are you this good? Just HOW? Also - I am not ashamed to say that with each passing section, I yearn more and more intensely for Blaine to become a vampire.
emilianadarling
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:00 am (UTC)
Haha, oh my gosh, thank you so much, lovely!! <3 I'm so happy that you're enjoying this one so much!! Your favourite, oh my goodness. <3

Also - I am not ashamed to say that with each passing section, I yearn more and more intensely for Blaine to become a vampire. <-- Heeeee.
museismine
Nov. 27th, 2011 09:43 pm (UTC)
i couldn't find this at first!! but im very(VERY) stubborn, especially when it comes to your writing darling :D but i found it! yay!! i loveloveloveloveLOVE this sooooooo much <3 *runs headlong to part 2* :P <3
emilianadarling
Jan. 4th, 2012 06:01 am (UTC)
Haha, I'm not sure how it got lost? It's all on my LJ, but I'm so happy you found it in the end! Thank you for being determined, and I'm so glad you're enjoying this!
museismine
Jan. 22nd, 2012 11:49 pm (UTC)
I'm not ashamed to admit that I ship Waaay too many fics, add THAT to my internet being down for like a month, it was hard to find among the 145 message updates I had!! 0_0 but I found it (yay)
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