You are viewing emilianadarling

Previous Entry | Next Entry

mic podfic 2
Hello, all! :3 I've been formatting this chapter throughout my classes all morning -- and even a little bit on the bus on my way here! It's made for an interesting ratio of information absorbed to information ignored, for sure. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy!


<3


Title: "Until My Dying Breath" -- Chapter Four
Author: emilianadarling
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Vampire AU with all the unpleasantness that entails. Violence, bloodplay, blood drinking, sexualized violence, grotesque descriptions, dark setting, fear, minor past character death, minor dubious consent in sexual matters. Warnings on a chapter by chapter basis.
Length: 11,500-ish for this chapter
Story Summary: On his way home from campus to his apartment on the Upper East Side, Blaine Anderson happens to come across a beautiful young man with bewitching blue eyes. It doesn’t take long, though, for everything Blaine thought was real to fall to pieces. For his world to dissolve into a twisted dance of fear and heat and blood.

Notes: Here we are, lovelies! This chapter was originally supposed to cover about double as many things, but it became apparent very quickly that there was too much to talk about in one chapter. So I made the decision to make it two chapters instead of one, which makes much more sense in terms of pacing and update rate. Thank you so much for reading, as always, and thank you so much for letting me know what you think! :) (Also, my tumblr is here if you're interested!)





Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Epilogue



--


It’s late at night on Blaine’s familiar route home from the subway, no stars in the sky and his feet impacting softly with the pavement as he walks. His book bag is heavy on his shoulder, and the night air is fresh and dark and enveloping around him. The buzz and hum of the city is muted, turned down, everything more still and quiet than it should be.

There’s something familiar about this. Like déjà vu but not quite; a word on the tip of his tongue, eager to be spoken aloud but not quite able to remember itself.

He’s just turning the corner, feet following the path his body has committed to memory without being told, when a noise jumps out at him. The sounds of struggle just to his left, tucked into a dark space and calling out to him. Blaine turns sharply, and all at once there is an alley there where he could have sworn there wasn’t one before. Dark and dank and not right, none of this quite right, but it doesn’t matter because there are two figures struggling in the half-light of it.

And Blaine knows this part by heart, somehow. He’s done it before.

Don’t, he wills himself desperately, a sudden rush of clarity and focus and perspective bursting along his senses. Don’t, no, stop it. This is where it starts, you don’t have to – don’t --!

But –

“Hey!” Blaine hears himself shouting, lips forming the words and sound flowing from his mouth like water he can’t hold back. He isn’t in control anymore, is screaming in his mind to run away as fast as he can, to getawaygetawaygetawaygetaway. But his body is acting out the scene without his permission; his consciousness with its sick knowledge of what comes next trapped inside the head of a puppet acting out a play. “Hey, stop it!”

Inside, Blaine frantically tries to clamp down on himself, to slam on the brakes of his own body – but it’s no good. His feet are already speeding him into the alley, toward the two men with his hand ready squeezed tight around the strap of his book bag.

It is like watching dominoes crash into one another, toppling down and down and down around him. Blaine runs in, the two people separate, the burly man wrenches back with a sickly pale look on his face. Like stage directions, one after the other, and the man is giving him a terrified look and fleeing the alley as fast as his two feet will take him.

He’s leaving me here, yells Blaine inside his mind in outrage, thrashing at the restraints of his physical body as proper awareness of the man’s actions clicks in his mind for the first time. He knows what he is and he’s fucking abandoning me –

But when Kurt turns to face him for the first time, the whole world shifts and jars and twists at the edges. Blaine’s stomach lurches at the sensation, stumbling back with wide eyes at the change.

What should happen next, some distant part of head knows, is that smile. The sick, false twist of lips and the parade of deceit and trickery as Kurt puts on a show of being human for god knows what reason. To mess with Blaine’s head, or get himself closer, he has no idea. Blaine remembers how this goes, has it memorized down to his core.

It doesn’t happen, though.

Instead, Kurt’s eyes narrow. With inhuman speed, he rushes forward and slams Blaine against the solid brick wall so hard his head snaps back against the bricks with an audible crack. Pain bursts in front of his eyelids, bright white and jagged and dizzy as his vision swims with stars. The book bag slides off and onto the ground as Kurt holds him there, pinned by the shoulders, and it hurts. The pain of it drags him back from the way the world is dimming and fading at the edges, and Blaine blinks hard to bring everything back into focus.

At once, he wishes he hadn’t.

Kurt’s face is inches away from his. Close, too close, with his beautiful features twisted up into something ugly and awful and ruthless. He looks as sharp and otherworldly and breath-taking as always, but the danger emanating off of him in waves makes it impossible for Blaine to feel anything other than stark terror. He thrashes hard, trying to buck Kurt off so he can run and hide and livepleasegodlive, but agony rips through his shoulders and he can only scream into the night.

Impossible pain is bursting where Kurt is gripping him, and Blaine howls as blood pours out of the wounds and soaks up into his shirt. It’s hot and wet and slippery, and Kurt’s hands are stretched and distorted and slicing into the flesh and sinew with sharp claws even as his face remains angelic and sweet and unmarred.

There isn’t any point in struggling anymore. All Blaine can do is sob and twitch and flinch away as Kurt leans right up close, inclining his head and inhaling deeply at one of the two open wounds at Blaine’s shoulder. Smelling the blood, dragging the scent up into his nose and eyes rolling back like it’s some kind of grotesque drug.

“Oh, there you are,” sneers Kurt, that beautifully high voice dancing on the night air as Blaine whimpers and trembles in front of him. The claws clench hard into Blaine’s shoulders, excruciating and all-consuming, and Blaine cries out in agony. He blinks, and the innocent face is gone, replaced by the twisted features of the monster in front of him. Growling, Kurt (the monster is Kurt, Kurt is the monster, they’re the same) moves in so that their faces are right up in front of each other, his lips ghosting over Blaine’s as his hisses the next words. “I’ve been looking for you forever.”

And then he’s crashing his mouth into Blaine’s neck, teeth shredding skin and ripping him open as Blaine convulses and sobs beneath him. He can feel his skin separating from his body, sinew and bone crunching as Kurt takes and takes and he’s dying, Blaine is dying, everything blacking out and pain and terror and –



The sound of Blaine’s ringtone, harsh and grating and set to full volume, wrenches him out of the dream with a gasping drag of air and a full body spasm that sends one hand crashing into the side table with enough force to almost topple the whole thing over. It cracks against the wood and makes him suck in a sharp breath of pain as he grabs at the edge to steady it.

The room pitch black and Blaine’s whole body is shot through with adrenaline as he pushes himself up, frantically throwing himself sideways to grope semi-blindly for his phone. The lit screen and the loud, screaming ringtone in conjunction with how vital it is that he answers quickly allow him to find it even in a darkened room without his glasses on. He hits the ‘accept call’ button with shaking fingers, brings it up to his ear as quickly as he can.

“I’m here!” Blaine rushes out in desperation, whole body rigid with panic, trying to get the words out as quickly as he possibly can. Can’t risk taking his time, has to let him know. He snags his glasses off the bedside table blindly, shoving them onto his face too quickly in order to reach out and turn on the lamp. The room floods with warm light; the glasses are still skewed on his face, and the all-consuming pounding of his heart in his ears is all he can hear. Which is terrifying because he has to talk to Kurt, Kurt has to be listening. “I’m here, I’m picking up, you don’t have to do anything, please don’t do anything –”

Why, hello to you too.

Kurt’s voice purrs at him smoothly over the line, vague sounds of traffic and life and the city and people around him in the background. It sounds as though he’s walking somewhere, the always-slowness of his breathing edged up almost imperceptibly at the small exertion. He can hear the smug, pleased tone in Kurt’s voice at the speed at which Blaine picked up; at how obviously frightened he was at what would happen if he didn’t. When Kurt speaks again, there is faux-concern dripping from every syllable.

Having a good sleep?” Just how innocent he sounds catches Blaine off-guard at first; young and sweet and genuine, almost. The slight twist to the words is the only hint at their underlying meaning.

In any case, there isn’t anything Blaine can say to that. He doesn’t say anything at all, instead; just breathes into the receiver in desperate gratitude, trying to calm his body down from high alert. The fog of sleep has been destroyed all at once; banished by the rush of fear he’s been expecting for days now.

He runs a hand through his curls and straightens his glasses instead of trying to respond, and the hot pounding in his chest beginning to simmer down into something slower. Less fight-or-flight. Blaine is not relaxed, not by any stretch of the imagination. But the frantic terror of moments before is lessening; shifting into the state of ever-present anxiety and buzzing nerves that has become the normal state of being for him over the past few weeks.

It’s been three days – three whole nights – since the heart was left outside his doorstep, and this is the first time that Kurt has made any move to contact him since then. Three nights without the tell-tale scrape of fingernails down wood, or the sing-song voice outside his door, or even another phone call.

His absence hasn’t been a comfort. Instead, it had served to reduce Blaine to an utter mess in record time. Desperately searching news sites and watching local channels for hope of some news of the woman who was killed – and waiting. Staying up until all hours of the night waiting for to hear that unmistakable voice, staring at the phone and willing it to ring. Blaine has been on edge and desperate to hear from Kurt for so long now, because at least then he would know. The sudden withdrawal after such a gruesome message had been almost impossible to bear.

The worst part had been Blaine’s uncomfortable realization on the second day of silence that Kurt was been treating him like a badly-behaved child with a time out. A way to say think about what you did, not a real chance at letting him escape. If he tried to run, Kurt would follow.

Kurt would always follow.

His absence has also made Blaine very much aware of the fact that, unless Kurt chooses to contact him, he has absolutely no way of reaching him whatsoever. Kurt is entirely, one hundred per cent in control of how and when they speak; even when Blaine had desperately wanted to yell, to scream, to find Kurt and ask him why, he’d had no power to do so. He had been left for three whole days, helpless and stranded in the cage of don’ts and can’ts that Kurt had made for him.

The sickest part is how much relief he feels now, hearing Kurt’s voice in his ear. Because at least now Blaine knows for sure; isn’t left floundering, not knowing what he can or can’t do. It’s all wrong, and backwards, and awful, and it makes shame and guilt coil feebly in his chest.

After a minute, Kurt continues on as though Blaine has responded, making a high, amused noise at the back of his throat.

Are you pleased to hear from me, Blaine?” Kurt asks, voice high and curious and playful. More sounds in the background. The chime of keys. A door opening, closing. Street sounds gone. Inside now. “I’m definitely pleased to hear you. It’s been so long, beautiful thing. ” There is a pause, followed by a small, self-satisfied noise. When he speaks again, the words are full of something darkly seductive: “Did you like my present?”

The memory of the woman’s heart, tucked in a box and touted like a gift, hangs between them without being spoken aloud. The slick fat hanging off of it, the smell as he had opened the box. Blaine feels something tighten in his chest.

“Don’t,” Blaine murmurs quietly, shaking his head and breath hitching slightly in his throat.

He had got rid of the present as soon as the sun had risen; the whole box wiped free of his fingerprints and wrapped in three garbage bags, one inside the other inside the other like Babushka dolls. Taken down to the basement of the building and tucked under a pile of refuse in the large, industrial-sized garbage container. He’d scrubbed the floor of his apartment with watered down bleach for twenty minutes when he got back upstairs.

Blaine lets out a shuddery breath. “That... that wasn’t fair,” he says, and the words come out soft. Almost child-like.

Are you feeling a little less stubborn now?” Kurt asks without heeding Blaine’s words, and there is a hardness beneath the apparently casual question. Unrelenting and rigid at the core, much like the man himself. There is the barely audible bing of an automated noise in the background of the call. An elevator, perhaps. “Avoiding me only gets people hurt, pretty. I thought we’d established that already.

Blaine takes a deep breath. “Last time,” he begins, hands twisting in the sheets at his sides. “Last time, when you... when you left it outside. I wasn’t ignoring you. I was asleep, I wasn’t ignoring you.”

There is a pause.

Hm. ” The single syllable is so terribly neutral that Blaine has no idea how to interpret it.

“Because I wouldn’t do that,” Blaine continues, keeping going because he needs to say it. Out loud, to someone who isn’t himself. The words have been sitting, stewing inside of him for days and nights and they feel heavy and awful in his stomach.“I’m not stupid, okay? I wasn’t... burying my head in the sand, trying to hide. And I’m not what you said, I’m not – I’m not ruthless. I know what you’re capable of, I wouldn’t risk –”

Do you, now?” asks Kurt sharply, and Blaine winces and presses his lips together. Now that the adrenaline has worn off, his mind is experiencing a resurgent struggle to make the shift from sleeping to waking; the dull fuzziness of the night is clinging to the edges of his head.

Blaine inhales carefully, running a hand through his sleep-tousled curls.

“It wasn’t fair,” he says again softly, staring down at the blue of his sheets and trying not to think about the woman whose heart he had held in his hands. She is an indistinct shape in his mind; voiceless, without any sort of appearance or even a name. And Blaine doesn’t understand how the idea of her can hurt just as much as the officers whose information he’d desperately soaked up and horded close to his chest when he knows absolutely nothing about her. Who she was, or where she came from, or what her dreams were.

All he knows is that her life shouldn’t have ended like that. Hard and painful and cruel, and because of some stupid kid she’d never even met before. It isn’t fair, and it isn’t right, and it makes him feel sick with himself for still existing.

Intellectually, Blaine knows that he is not responsible for Kurt’s murders. He’s doing everything he possibly can, and it isn’t enough, no. But he isn’t actively doing anything to hurt anyone.

That logic sits ineffectual and empty in his chest despite his own voice of reason.

There is another bing in the background, followed by the sound of doors sliding open. Almost certainly an elevator, and high up as well. A top floor of an apartment, maybe. A high-rise. But that isn’t anywhere near enough information on its own for him to be able to track Kurt down, not in New York City of all places. He hears Kurt begin to move down the hallway.

Well,” Kurt says breezily, after a long pause. “My game, my rules. Maybe now you’ll make an effort to be a little more alert when I try to get your attention.”

A frustrated sound worms its way out of Blaine’s throat, and he slams a hand ineffectually down on the mattress beside him. Ridiculously, he imagines throwing the phone across the room in a childish gesture of anger. He never would – there are too many lives on the line – but the temptation is very real.

“You don’t even think about them at all, do you?” Blaine asks harshly, marvelling internally at the fact that he can feel something as simple and everyday as irritation with the kind of monster he’s talking to. “It never even occurs to you to think about the people you kill.”

Of course not,” Kurt says simply, and Blaine can hear the chime of keys as they turn in a lock on the other end of the line. “They don’t matter, they’re not anything, why should I care –?

“I’m not worth it,” Blaine insists, voice hitching in frustration and grief and self-hatred. There is a persistent stinging at his eyes, and he swipes the back of his hand over them. He blinks at the wall across from him, feeling very much small and alone even in this cramped space. “Please, just – I’m nothing, like them. I’m not worth chasing, please. I’m not worth killing for.”

Nothing comes from the other end of the line for a long, long minute. Blaine can hear the sounds of a door closing in the background, movement, settling. The shuffle of what can only be a coat being removed. A noise that could perhaps be someone sitting, perhaps lying down; it’s impossible to tell.

When Kurt finally speaks again, he sounds tense and stilted, with his voice drawn taught like a rope. “You might be like them,” he admits, and there is something almost weighing about the word. “I’ll admit that. But you are most certainly worth chasing, lover.

“I’m not your lover,” Blaine mutters, shaking his head.

I am in your dreams, though, aren’t I?” Kurt responds immediately, with heat in his voice, and Blaine’s breath catches in his throat. He pauses, fingers tingling and eyes wide in horror as the shock of the words resonates over the line. After a while, Kurt lets out a breath. “Now. Don’t be stupid on purpose, and stop trying to trick me into feeling something for squishing bugs under my shoes.

“Why are y–?”

Stop arguing about this, sweetheart, or I’ll go out and kill another one, ” he says calmly, and Blaine’s blood runs cold. He clenches his hand around the phone, fingers shaking from the effort of holding it steady. “You’re being contrary, and it’s annoying, so stop. Now.

Mouth dry, Blaine gapes as though struck across the face. He desperately searches around for words; tries to make sound come out from between his lips. A tiny noise escapes instead, so he gives his head a firm shake and tries again.

People are counting on you, and you’re gambling with their lives. People are relying on you. Play his game. Do what he wants.

“Okay,” babbles Blaine apologetically, raising his free hand in the air in a gesture of surrender despite the fact that Kurt cannot see him. “Okay, I’m stopping, I’m sorry. Please.”

There is a pause.

That’s better,” Kurt tells him after a minute, sounding almost rewarding, and it occurs to Blaine to wonder why on Earth Kurt is so desperate to talk to him anyways. It’s not as though their conversations through the doorway have ever been particularly stimulating, for one thing, and he’d been under the impression that Kurt had no real interest in anything he had to say until the missed calls a few days ago.

It doesn’t make sense, just the same way that nothing Kurt does makes any sense, and Blaine can feel his grasp at the world slipping with every passing hour.

Blaine grasps at something to say to fill the silence. “... how did you even get my phone number, anyways?” he asks, trying to make some other kind of conversation but sounding more than a little petulant in the process. Kurt lets out a sharp laugh that resonates harshly over the line.

Oh, pretty, ” Kurt sighs, sounding amused and condescending at once. “Word of advice: when you have someone stalking you, you should probably double-check your Facebook security settings. And not have any personal information up on your profile. Your Aunt Amabel said hello on your wall, by the way.

There is a beat.

“What?” Blaine asks in disbelief, barely able to keep himself from spluttering. “But. You’re not – you’re a—” He shakes his head, feeling stupid and small and caught off-guard. “You use the internet? But. It’s all... new. And stuff.”

I was around when television was new, silly, and I don’t exactly eschew that either, ” Kurt teases him in an almost playful tone, and they’re talking. Actually talking, having a conversation like normal human beings. It feels tremendously surreal. Somehow, the pull of Kurt’s personality –his being—is still drawing him in, even when he’s not physically close, and Blaine wants to talk with him like this.

It’s discomfiting.

Strange.

Until it occurs to him what, exactly, Kurt said a few minutes ago.

Stop arguing about this, sweetheart, or I’ll go out and kill another one.

It has taken far too long for Kurt’s words to properly sink in, but when they do something cold and hard and awful clenches around Blaine’s chest. He falls back against the pillows, feeling very much as though the breath has been knocked out of him.

“Wait,” Blaine whispers, terrified to ask. “Another one?” He sounds horrified and stilted to his own ears, but he has to know. “Did you... did you just...?”

Kurt doesn’t say anything for a drawn-out minute, but the silence isn’t an angry one. It’s charged, excited. Pleased. Eventually, Blaine hears a small sigh of pleasure on the other end of the line.

I love hearing your voice, you know, ” murmurs Kurt approvingly, the wet lick of lips audible in Blaine’s ear. “You said you used to sing, and I believe it. I very much want to make you sing, one day. ” He laughs, an amused little noise high up in the register – and the horrible duality of it always shakes Blaine to his core. That delicate voice, the beautiful face. The monster underneath.

I’ve missed hearing your dulcet tones for the past few days, pretty, ” Kurt admits, and Blaine’s heartbeat is thrumming along his skin. “But I figured you needed the space.” There’s a beat before he continues, voice twisted round and pleased with himself. “And...yes. To answer your question. I did.

Blaine sucks in a breath, eyes squeezing shut. The dull blow of devastation impacts his chest at the death of some nameless person he’ll never meet. It hurts, he discovers, not only when he doesn’t know the person’s name or face, but even when Blaine himself isn’t the cause. It still feels like a personal failure; for not being able to find a way to stop Kurt from doing what he wants. For not finding a way to kill him and stop all this before it could go any further.

He was young, ” Kurt continues smoothly, and no. Nonononono, please no, Blaine doesn’t want to hear this. Doesn’t want to know, but he can’t stop listening; is hanging on every word as though his life depends on it. “Well-dressed. Good-looking. Not as pretty as you, though, dear. Don’t be jealous.

“Kurt...” Blaine implores quietly, squeezing his eyes shut and curling into himself on the bed.

Shhh, beautiful, it’s okay, ” murmurs Kurt softly, sweetly, and Blaine shakes his head wordlessly and bites down on his bottom lip. “He begged very nicely when he realized what was happening. It was a shame to shut him up, and oh, how he struggled. I got blood all over my new shirt, though, which was more than a little bit irksome.

Humming in a low tone, Kurt sounds much less flippant when he speaks again:

He wasn’t you, Blaine. I wanted it to be you. I want them all to be you.

“... please...” Blaine whispers, not caring that he’s begging, not caring if it’s pathetic if it will make Kurt stop talking about this.

His whole body tenses up, however, and the pleading words are cut off at the unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down. Blaine’s eyes fly open, wide and shocked and oh god oh god oh god.

I’ve been thinking about you, ” Kurt’s voice breathes into his ear, dark and heated and private. There is a rustle of fabric, a shift of movement; Blaine feels his face heat up with the uncomfortable flush of embarrassment at the realization of what, exactly, Kurt is doing. “There are so many things I want to do to you, Blaine. I think about it all the time, lovely. I linger.”

“I can’t—” Blaine chokes out, face red and hot and suddenly feeling sweaty with humiliation beneath the blankets. He wants to pull the phone away, turn it off, shut it down, but he can’t. He’s frozen like this, unable to move, unable to think but for the tiny noises he can hear Kurt making over the tininess of the line. Kurt should be the embarrassed one because people don’t do this, it’s not right, but Kurt isn’t human and he sounds confident and sure and it makes Blaine’s palms sweaty.

Don’t hang up, ” Kurt orders him firmly, but his voice is hitched with something that Blaine can’t think about too closely without wanting to bury his face into the covers and hide. In the background, he can hear the muted slide of skin on skin.

But Blaine couldn’t hang up if he wanted to. Against his will, pieces of the past few weeks’ worth of dreams are slipping back across his vision, back into his mind like through cracks in a wall – like pressure points being touched. Stealing behind his eyelids and worming their way into his chest, making him shiver and close his eyes and hate himself for not being able to tune it all out.


Kurt, seated on a grand winged armchair with Blaine on his lap impaled on his cock, his back to Kurt’s chest as he rocks himself up and down in tiny movements as Kurt drinks from the side of his neck, languid-slow and lazy, the drag of the blood leaving his body making Blaine twitch and moan and squeeze around the hardness filling him up so perfectly as he does all the work and gives Kurt exactly what he wants


I can hear you breathing, ” Kurt whispers in his ear, and Blaine shivers as he tries to shake away the memory of the dream.


Kurt’s own breathing is growing heavier and quicker, fast for him, and Blaine squeezes his eyes shut against it. His whole body feels tense and coiled tight, and he licks his lips absently. “You can hear what you do to me, beautiful. How you make me feel.


they’re kids, only teenagers, rutting around in the back of a car with Kurt sprawled on top of him, sucking a hickey deep into the skin of Blaine’s neck as Blaine groans and arches into the touch helplessly. Except then he keeps going, teeth slicing in and pinning Blaine down as he starts to whimper and scream soundlessly as Kurt keeps him pinned to the back seat and grinds their cocks together as he drinks


Would you believe,” Kurt gasps, and Blaine tilts his head back and looks up determinedly toward the ceiling at the lewd noises Kurt is making over the phone, at the horrible dream-memories and noises that are going straight to his cock as much as he hates it, he hates it, doesn’t want feel this way, why does he feel this way? "That I used to be all prim and proper about this? About sex. Back when I was human, I mean. I – nggh, fuck– used to be so awkward about it. "


Kurt groans breathily into the phone, and when Blaine closes his eyes he can practically see him: that angelic face twisted up in pleasure like Blaine has seen it so many times in his dreams, graceful hand twisting around his cock and thrusting his hips up into his own touch in desperate little movements. Blaine’s face is burning with humiliation and stupid arousal and it’s like something is twinging inside his brain, bringing these feelings to the surface at the command of Kurt’s voice.

But I’ve lived long enough, now, to know that this is all there is. Sex and death, sex and death, all wrapped up in a –” he hisses, keening slightly, “— in a pretty bow, that’s all life is, Blaine, god


Kurt slides away from where he’s feeding from a blissed-out Blaine’s shoulder to slide up his body to kiss him, just kiss him, sliding their mouths together as the slick coppery wetness plays over their tongues and Blaine groans and opens his mouth wider, letting Kurt claim his mouth and smear their lips with his blood


In his ear, Kurt’s breath is coming hard and fast and ragged; he’s keening slightly, voice high and strangled as he chokes out the tiny noises. Blaine can hear the quick slide of skin on skin, and Blaine’s whole body is tensed up and flushed and he’s going insane.


Kurt,” Blaine chokes out, hard and quiet and in tatters into the receiver, and apparently that’s all it takes. In his ear, Kurt exclaims out a high, wanton noise of pleasure as Blaine squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his hand around the phone so hard his fingers go white.

The sound of laboured breathing lasts for a little while afterward as Kurt recovers, practically purring into Blaine’s ear in satisfaction. Between his legs, Blaine’s treacherous cock is hard and wanting and desperate to be touched, to find the same relief that he’s just heard Kurt experience firsthand, and his body is betraying him and Blaine can’t understand why he has to feel this way. Why it can’t just be simple, and easy, and black and white.

After a long minute, Kurt’s voice makes a satisfied little noise into Blaine’s ear.

Mmm, ” he says happily, letting out a little contented sigh that makes Blaine shiver. “Thanks for that, lover. Sweet dreams.

And without any other warning, Kurt hangs up.

The empty noise of the disconnected call rings in Blaine’s ears, shocking and incomprehensible as he pulls the phone away from his ear to stare at it in disbelief. He blinks. Bites down on his lips as he looks unthinkingly at the screen, barely able to believe what just took place.

Something awful is tugging at Blaine’s chest; curling around his heart and pushing at his insides, making him cringe and the heat of arousal flee from his cheeks. His cock is still hard and wanting between his legs, but all Blaine can feel is used. Balled up and thrown away, discarded. He blinks hard, putting the phone and his glasses back on the bedside table and turning off the lamp unsteadily.

The room floods with darkness. Blaine rolls onto his side, tries to ignore the treacherous heat between his legs, and wishes he could hate Kurt as much as he hates himself.







Click here to continue on to part two.


Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
marydawson
Oct. 20th, 2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
I wanted to go to sleep! Ah I know I shouldn't have checked LJ a last time :/

:D going to read now. I can sleep in the bus tomorrow :D
marydawson
Oct. 20th, 2011 10:04 pm (UTC)
Oh my god! The start of this chapter! Amazing! I can't... just woah! The deja-vu is so awesome written. I'm shaking right now. (oh and I'm so glad I got to read chap 3 today :D) and how you used “Oh, there you are,” “I’ve been looking for you forever.”! Amazing. I love it, really. It means so much for me as a Klainer and to find it in such a context. Ah, Emiliana, your story kills me inside!

Oh my gosh. My head screams: STOCKHOLM SYNDROME at me the entire time.

Great use of metaphores and images inside the story so far.

“You use the internet? But. It’s all... new. And stuff.”

OH BLAINERS.

I love sick-bastard-vampire!Kurt. I admit it.

>>His whole body tenses up, however, and the pleading words are cut off at the unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down.<<
woah! wait. WHAT?! oh gosh, seriously. You are rescuing the whole vampire-fandom with your fanfiction, you know? That is how they should be in these times. (Maybe you should rewrite this with other Names and publish this?)

okay, that phonesex-for-kurt-and-phonerape-for-blaine-scene was great. Ladyboner. Really. I feel bad for Blaine, I really do, but god, Kurt and all those feelings Blaine is having.
emilianadarling
Oct. 22nd, 2011 03:22 am (UTC)
Aha, sorry to disrupt your sleep, hon!! D: I'm honoured you chose me over sleep, haha!

Oh, thank you so much about the deja-vu -- it's such an incredibly real feeling, isn't it, especially in dreams? That tugging certainty that you know this, you do, you just have to remember. I'm so happy you liked that aspect! And I was hoping that "Oh, there you are..." would have an impact. :/ What a bastardization of that line. I'm happy it packed a punch for you; it's so meaningful for us Klainers, isn't it? Of course Blaine incorporates it into the dream. D:

Oh! And goodness, thank you so much about my metaphores and images! Sometimes I worry, because I tend to go for metaphors for the feel of them instead of the actual literal meaning, but I'm delighted that they're coming across well!

And heehee, oh Blainers. XD I'm glad you enjoyed his confusion over Kurt and the internet. But, like, why wouldn't Kurt use the internet? He can't go out in the day, he has to find something to do. XD

;D <--- my face at your enjoyment of the zipper line. OH KURT YOU HAVE NO BOUNDARIES I SEE. (I've been thinking a little bit about original fiction lately, actually. It might be something I try to get into at some point. *ponder*) SO happy you're enjoying that aspect of this segment, and that the phone scene had all the impact I was hoping for. (Ladyboner, haha! XD) So many feelings, for sure!

Thank you so much for reading, hon!
heyblaine
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:03 pm (UTC)
excuse me while i ASDFGHJASKDALSKASDWEUWDSF

okay now i will go read it (and then try to actually leave a somewhat coherent comment afterward - god, i'm so bad at commenting, shame on me ;_; ...so, well, if i don't, i still wanted to let you know that i at least read and enjoy (and love and worship) this story so, so much <3)!
emilianadarling
Oct. 22nd, 2011 03:24 am (UTC)
Then I shall have to AKDNKSHDLHDHLDLS right back! :D I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!

Aha, I've been making an effort in the past months to leave better feedback too, actually! What I've found works best is just doing it when I finish the story and not waiting, and just spewing all of my incoherency onto the page. Getting comments from flaily people is definitely awesome! But in any case, thank you SO much for letting me know that you read and enjoy, sweetie! That means so much to me!!
heyblaine
Oct. 22nd, 2011 12:49 pm (UTC)
Ah, well, the thing is that English isn't my native language, so when I'm on a post-reading-an-extremely-good-fic-high (is that a thing? can you be that? XD) and I make flaily comments they usually... literally make no sense, hah.

But now I'm taking my time to do it! :D This story is... wow. I just want to love you forever (I'm creepy, sorry), because – this? This is everything I could have ever asked for from a vampire fic, and I've waited so long for it to show up in this fandom. The only ones I've read with Kurt or Blaine as a vampire have been waaay too Twilight-esque for my taste (and really, no bashing on people writing those stories whatsoever, it's just not what I want to read, I want, what's in my eyes, real vampires, and my, you succeed with this!).

The sexual tension building between them right from the start and Kurt so easily being this creature you've made him into – because really, he fills these shoes so well, Mr. Kurt Hummel was obviously meant to be a vampire, mhmmm – it's all perfect, and I, just... I feel so sorry for poor Blainers. ;_; My mind also gets so confused by it all, because I have no idea where I want this story to go – I'm literally going back and forth between thinking "omg how will this end happily, it NEEDS to end happily THEY NEED TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER IN EVERY UNIVERSE EVER" and then screaming "get ooouttt, leave him alooone!!" at my computer screen every time Kurt shows up outside Blaine's door, and I love, love, love the confusion and having no idea what's going to happen – and I am eagerly awaiting more to find out!! :D

It surprises me how when I read this story I get into such a dark mood – you know the feeling after you've watched a scary movie on a dark night in October and your friend decides to go home and suddenly you're all alone and all you can do is sit and look around the room nervously? That's how I feel after each chapter of this... and I usually don't get creeped out easily by just reading something.

So really, keep up the good work, because you're superb! :)
amordemealma
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:10 pm (UTC)
So I've gotten in the habit of opening your story twice in two windows. In one window I read the story. In the other I open the comment box, and when I need to, I stop reading and start writing. because with your writing, I just know that I'll forget something Important I wanted to say because every few paragraphs you write something that Frickin blows my mind and I can no longer remember the last thing I read that frickin blew my mind.

I was gonna try and read the whole first part without breaking today though because I do like reading it without interruptions and this story is frickin blowing my mind, and I haven't even gotten past the dream sequence in the beginning. So I had to stop and start commenting. lets see if I can remember everything shall we?

First of all. I love that Blaine is revisiting this moment in a dream. and I love that he knows he's been their before. It struck me as interesting that the alley seemed to come out of nowhere, like it wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. I found that detail very intriguing. And I love love love that moment where Blaine knows what this is, and he's screaming at himself to not help to change it, but he can't. It reminded me strongly of one of the reoccurring nightmares I've had. I've only had it twice, but the second time, I was aware of what was happening. I remembered everything that had happened and how it was going play out in the end. I even warned people not to do things because if they did, they'd get killed. But I couldn't change it. every one still died the way they died before and it wasn't because they didn't listen to me, I was just powerless to stop it. Blaine here strikes me as the same. How much he would give anything to change this scenario, this nightmare he's living in, but even aware of it in his dreams, he can't change his actions.

The parts that do change though, because it is different,are obviously not in his favor. His mind is so damaged by what Kurt has put him through at this point that not only can he not change things for the better, but he can perfectly play out his death as maybe he felt it could have happened. or should have happened. because at this point I think Blaine feels it would have been Better if Kurt had just killed him outright instead of playing with him like this. It's almost if he wants this to be the real scenario, instead of just a dream. I think he would rather this be his reality than the nightmare he's living in now.

And before I mention the part that ripped me from the story and got me 'Oh My Lord'ing, I do want to mention this because I never thought of this and it also blew my mind. Blaine's realization that the Guy Knew what Kurt was and left Blaine there with him. Oh My God, Emiliana! Why had this thought never occurred to me? That Rat Bastard! But then again, if he had grabbed Blaine and run, we wouldn't have the rest of this epic story and then where would we be? but it was a revelation none the less.

Also in regards to that scene way back in the first chapter...It's been bugging me actually, since we've seen how lethal Kurt is that there was a struggle at all. Because there was no struggle whatsoever when Kurt killed the homophobe in front of Blaine that first time. why the struggle in the alley?

I also loved that Blaine is trying to make his mind accept that Kurt and the monster are one in the same, because I think he's really been struggling with that. Brilliant that you put that in this particular sequence.

Okay, and now the part that made me stop to comment finally.

That line. the "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you forever." Chills. absolute chills. Because oh my God, I can't believe you took that beautiful line that we've all been clinging to for months now and turned it on it's head and made it the most terrifying line in the history of lines. I mean that in the best sense possible. It was brilliant. absolutely brilliant. I can't even. It's things like that that make me love you so much.


amordemealma
Oct. 20th, 2011 11:11 pm (UTC)

Okay, information overload again. let's see what I can remember.

Oh God, Kurt's first question to Blaine. 'Did you have a good sleep?' Kurt is so good at manipulating and toying with with prey. He knows he didn't have a good sleep. And Blaine knows that he knows it. Because Blaine knows that Kurt left him alone for three whole days just for that very reason. not to put him at ease, but to put him on edge. Kurt's an evil bastard in this and I love it.

Am I to assume correctly that since Blaine knows nothing of the woman who's heart was torn out that despite scouring the news there hasn't been anyone? would Kurt then have just picked up a random homeless person off the street that no one would miss and destroy the evidence of a murder? because I'm sure he would have hated any evidence of a murder to lead back to Blaine. he did after all erase the 911 calls so that Blaine couldn't be implemented in the police officer's murders. not that that makes Kurt's actions any better if it was a homeless person instead of someone that Blaine knew but...

Blaine trying to plead his case, to make Kurt feel remorse. oh goodness. my heart. I'm convinced that Kurt very well knew that Blaine was simply asleep and wasn't ignoring him, but Killed the woman anyways so that Blaine would get in the habit of answering his phone no matter what. I'm convinced of this because if as you said earlier in one of your replies to my comments that vampires do have the ability to control dreams and infiltrate them as it were, that even if Kurt wasn't aware that he was doing it before, he's certainly aware of it now. and if he's now aware that he's controlling Blaine's dreams, he would be very much aware of when Blaine is sleeping and what he's dreaming of.

I'm almost thinking that it's like a mind connection thing. The things Blaine was dreaming about before was what Kurt was thinking about. And now that Kurt is aware of this connection he makes sure that he controls what Blaine dreams about. at least that's where my head is at on this at this point in time. I may have a new theory by part two of this chapter. haha.

But Kurt's statement, about calling Blaine his lover. when Blaine corrects him and Kurt say's 'but I am in your dreams' makes me almost 90% positive that I'm correct. also that moment gave me chills. chills I tell you.

So I thought I was gonna get farther than like three paragraphs in before I had to stop again, but Kurt is Facebook stalking blaine. and Blaine's disbelief because he can't fathom a Vampire using the internet. BWAAAHAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!
that's hilarious. best thing ever.

you....he....another one? oh God that didn't even occur to me! i thought he was just referring to the woman who's heart he pulled out but oh My GOD! I Can't. I just can't. Emilania, you're a genius. an absolute genius. I always thought that my absolute favorite villain in all of literature was Iago from Othello. I just found a new one. It's Kurt from your story. Because he has absolutely no inhibitions. there is absolutely nothing to stop him from doing what he wants. He's cunning and manipulative and so clever, and God, why aren't you published?

that last scene, with the masturbating. UNF. seriously. it was so hot. why was it so hot? I just can't even.

one little thing that took me out of the story, when the zipper is being pulled down, you called it Blaine's zipper. was that supposed to be Kurt's?

Anyways, more chills when Kurt thanked Blaine. because once again he used the word lover. It just chills me. Actually I just thought of something. Does Kurt ever Call Blaine by his real name? cause he always seems to call him my pretty or beautiful or lover or some sort of pet name. Just curious, I could be wrong but ever since Blaine found out who Kurt was it seems like Kurt reverts to using pet names exclusively.

And that last sentence. about Blaine wishing he could hate Kurt as much as he hates himself. It's so heartbreaking. The struggle he's having, wanting something and despising it at the same time. I can't even imagine. well I can. As I've said before, Kurt is Blaine's Chocolate. the thing he wants that he really, really shouldn't.

Can't wait to read the rest of this. you have me on pins and needles.
emilianadarling
Oct. 22nd, 2011 08:41 am (UTC)
And oh, Kurt. Kurt is so very unfair in the way he approaches things sometimes, isn’t he? :/ Of course he knows that Blaine hasn’t had a good sleep; he’s been bloody well making it so that he doesn’t have any good sleeps on purpose! And it’s a question, too, that is ordinarily filled with such care and love, and Kurt has done such a job of putting him on edge. Oh, Kurt. So glad you’re loving him in all his manipulative glory!

because I'm sure he would have hated any evidence of a murder to lead back to Blaine. <-- Mmmmm, very well said. Police make things complicated and difficult and annoying, and when he’s sending a piece of evidence part and parcel to his victim’s house, it’s probably best to make sure that no body is found. Just in case. And especially not with her heart ripped out, good lord, that would make headlines. But I think you’re probably quite right about this; someone random who wouldn’t be missed. Much simpler that way.

Kurt was definitely trying to ingrain some habits into Blaine, for sure. Always be on the alert for me in case I want to talk, or people will die. What a very effective method. And of course Blaine still feels remorse and guilt no matter what, because even though it wasn’t his fault? This is Blaine. :( Mmm, I think I did mention before that there’s a lot of vampire lore that deals with the manipulation of dreams in some way. Even a few incarnations of Dracula, I do believe! :3 Mmmm, and I know that you’ve gone on to read the second half of this chapter, so I shan’t say too much about the dreams. I will say that Kurt is... very much aware that a connection could exist, before. And then Blaine confirmed it for him. And now every little acknowledgement and concession of what Blaine dreams about is just glorious news, indeed. Blaine’s silent, horrified reaction to ‘lover’... well. How intoxicating would that be to have confirmed for you? So glad that line gave you chills; it gave Kurt chills, too.

And ahaha!!! XD I had fun including that bit! Of course Kurt uses the internet! Why would he not? Kurt’s an adaptable kinda guy, haha. Glad you liked that!
And mmm, yes, that line took a while to fully click with Blaine as well. ;_; And I love the way you say this, by the way, because it’s perfect: Because he has absolutely no inhibitions. there is absolutely nothing to stop him from doing what he wants. <-- YES. THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS, a thousand times this. Being turned into a vampire has completely destroyed Kurt’s inhibitions, and now? Now he can do whatever he wants, all the time. What a dangerous, dangerous thing. (Aha, you’re so sweet, too. <3 I’m not published because I’m in school and they only large stories I’ve ever written are fanfic, aha. But I’m starting to get the impression that I should perhaps maybe think about working toward that goal one day. <3 *hug*)

EEEEE!!! :D I’m so happy you liked the phone scene!! AHA SUCCESS. I know that masturbation scenes have a tendency to alienate you, so I’m verrrrry pleased that you enjoyed that one. ;D (And fffffff, that wasn’t even supposed to be a zipper, oops! I made a typo and left out the word ‘eyes’, and it changed the scene a little bit. O_O Kurt’s zipper! Kurt’s! Thanks for pointing that out!) Mmmm, I’m glad you liked the thanking; something that would ordinarily be nice to say suddenly gets turned into something awful and inconsiderate and horrid. Poor Blaine for sure at the end, hating himself so badly for feeling inexplicable feelings. :(

Kurt does call Blaine by his real name, though! :3 Several times throughout the story. In fact: “He wasn’t you, Blaine. I wanted it to be you. I want them all to be you. ” There’s one right there. :) He uses a great many pet names in a very condescending way, but sometimes Blaine’s real name sneaks in. Mostly when Kurt is being rather upfront about something, mmm.

Thank you SO much for taking the time to leave such lovely feedback, hon!! You know how much I appreciate it, and this was a particularly incredible batch! Thank you!!!!
emilianadarling
Oct. 22nd, 2011 08:23 am (UTC)
I absolutely love your dual-window system, hon!! XD You and Looney have it down to a fine art! Thank you so much for taking the time to interrupt your reading of each chapter to do that, lovely, honestly. <3 I’m so happy that you feel there’s enough of interest in each chapter to make you do that! (Also, oh my gosh, super-long comment!! You’re amazing!) I should start doing that with the stories with longer chapters that I read, actually; I always lose track of things I want to say, by the end; your system makes so much sense!

Wow! This is such an in-depth analysis of this dream! Well done, you! :D I’m delighted that you enjoyed the fact that we get to see this scene again through a bit of a different lens; I feel as though it’s such a significant moment for both of them that it makes perfect sense for Blaine to dwell on it in this way. I mean... it’s when everything changed. Getting to examine it through the fuzzy lens of the dream world was also so fantastic. Where things appear, and you know something is off, and it’s familiar but you just can’t quite place it. That’s such a surreal feeling, and I’m so pleased you were affected by it. And I love that you picked out the alley detail. <3 And, gosh, what a terrifying nightmare!! D: KNOWING that something horrible is going to happen, and not being able to change it? That’s just abhorrent, ugh, I’d be shaking. It fucks so much with our concept of free will that is so hammered into us. SCARY, and I think Blaine was very much the same here, for sure.

I completely agree with you, too, that Blaine is fixating on the idea of ‘how his death could have happened’ here. Because I think you’re so right in that, for Blaine at this point, it feels so pointless and awful and terrible to keep holding out against a force that is so much more powerful than him. I love the way you phrase that: the fact that he can’t change things for the better, but he can perfectly play out his death. Beautiful. And in many ways, that option would have been the much kinder one for him. Blaine :( I completely agree that Blaine is still having difficult accepting Kurt and the monster as being the same, though. Oh, for sure. There’s something in his mind that just won’t put them together, no matter how hard he tries.

And oh, yes. UGH. THAT MAN. He was in the story so briefly, and yet I haaaate him. HE JUST LEFT HIM THERE!!! He could have shouted, or warned him, or grabbed Blaine’s hand and dragged him away as he ran. But no, he didn’t: he left him there with the monster, probably hoping Kurt would go for Blaine instead of him. What a horrible thing to do. >:(

Mmmm, the difference in struggle is definitely very explainable by two key factors: 1.) The homophobe was druuuuunk out of his mind. Too drunk to even fully comprehend what was happening at first, let alone fight back. And 2.) Kurt... likes to play with his food before he eats it. :/ He quite happily discusses the level of struggling of the boys he kills later in this chapter, too. It’s fun for him.

And then, there is that line. The line I knew would have every person on edge right away. The absolute brilliance of writing an AU in fandom is that there are these words and phrases and ideas that resonate so strongly, already, with your audience. You don’t get that in original fiction; everyone reading this has a personal relationship with that line. I am so happy that line had every bit of impact I was hoping for, my darling. Thank you so very, very much for letting me know. Because that line is special and sacred to us, so of course it would come along into Blaine’s dreams as well. I am SO happy that it worked for you, I cannot even tell you. <3 I love you too!! So very, very much indeed -- not in the least for these lovely impressions!!
loonylevicorpus
Oct. 21st, 2011 05:42 am (UTC)
“Oh, there you are,” sneers Kurt, that beautifully high voice dancing on the night air as Blaine whimpers and trembles in front of him. The claws clench hard into Blaine’s shoulders, excruciating and all-consuming, and Blaine cries out in agony. He blinks, and the innocent face is gone, replaced by the twisted features of the monster in front of him. Growling, Kurt (the monster is Kurt, Kurt is the monster, they’re the same) moves in so that their faces are right up in front of each other, his lips ghosting over Blaine’s as his hisses the next words. “I’ve been looking for you forever.”



I AM FREAKING OUT AND WHIMPERING AND PULLING ON MY OWN HAIR HOLY SHIT ;lakfNLGKAJWngALGKNV ALIVNBL!!!!1!!!!

EMILIANA YOU BRILLIANT, CRAZY, FUCKED UP, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. YOU ARE BASTARDIZING A FAMOUS KLAINE LINE IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE AND IT IS KILLING ME WITH TERROR AND AWE. I will never be able to think of that speech the same way again. I just can't with you.

I just love all of these nightmare scenes with a passion. This one not because it's hot like the others, but because it's so perfect as a nightmare. It's terrifying to go through something and know what is coming next, but it's even more terrifying when suddenly the framework is gone and what normally happens doesn't. The majority of the dreams that I have are highly disturbing just like this one, and you capture the feel of it so very well.

“Last time, when you... when you left it outside. I wasn’t ignoring you. I was asleep, I wasn’t ignoring you... Because I wouldn’t do that,” Blaine continues, keeping going because he needs to say it. Out loud, to someone who isn’t himself. The words have been sitting, stewing inside of him for days and nights and they feel heavy and awful in his stomach.

It's so backwards and twisted that Blaine feels the need to reassure Kurt, like he's apologizing. Kurt is one sly bastard. He's playing a game with Blaine, and he's got Blaine doesn't understand how the game works one little bit. I LOVE it. Manipulative Kurt is oh so delectable.

“Your Aunt Amabel said hello on your wall, by the way.”



His whole body tenses up, however, and the pleading words are cut off at the unmistakable sound of a zipper being pulled down. Blaine’s eyes fly open, wide and shocked and oh god oh god oh god.

Oh my god this is so fucked up and I love it.

—they’re kids, only teenagers, rutting around in the back of a car with Kurt sprawled on top of him, sucking a hickey deep into the skin of Blaine’s neck as Blaine groans and arches into the touch helplessly. Except then he keeps going, teeth slicing in and pinning Blaine down as he starts to whimper and scream soundlessly as Kurt keeps him pinned to the back seat and grinds their cocks together as he drinks –

Oooooooh. Oooooooooooooohhhhhh.



This reminds me of a certain spoiler for an episode that shall be aired on November 8th. I love the way that you're continuing to incorporate canon.
cassidychase
Oct. 21st, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)
Just something to discuss, about when Blaine was telling Kurt that he had been asleep the last time that Kurt called. I didn't really think of it as an apology to Kurt, but more of a justification and maybe an apology to the woman who died.

It looks like Kurt took it as Blaine trying to make him feel guilty for killing someone when Blaine hadn't answered his phone(Later when he likens humans to bugs). Which I don't think was Blaine's conscious decision... we don't really know here. I don't think Blaine would consciously decide to try and guilt Kurt for fear of who Kurt might take his anger out on. Gosh this story is so compelling isn't it XD
loonylevicorpus
Nov. 4th, 2011 12:27 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry I haven't replied to this! I love your thoughts, and I think that it's completely justified to say that we're both right. He's certainly saying it as an apology to the woman, almost like a confession, and I think he is apologizing to Kurt because he's so terrified of Kurt's wrath.

Kurt taking it as a guilt trip is AWESOME and I never thought of it that way. And maybe Kurt is trying to convince himself that he really does think of humans only as bugs? I wonder if he's ever been this involved with his prey before. Maybe he's getting uncomfortable with how attached he's becoming.
emilianadarling
Nov. 3rd, 2011 11:40 pm (UTC)
Woooo! Sorry for the long wait on my response to this, bb!! My Uni is going crazy and it hasn't stopped yet. @_@ Autumn is always such a crazy time for me; a million apologies! Rest assured, I absolutely LOVE your feedback as much as always!!!

First of all, AHAHAHA perfect gif response to that particular paragraph!! XD Aheeeee, I'm so happy to make you freak out over the use of that particular line. It's the ultimate Klaine line, the one that we cling to and cherish and love -- so of course it's important within Blaine's own mind, as well. Of course he puts the words right into Kurt's mouth. And of course they come out twisted and wrong and sick and awful. Just.... mmmm, yes, thank you so much for that reaction. <3

I was actually really wondering how you would react to this nightmare, since it isn't as elegant as the past two have been. But I'm absolutely over the moon that you enjoyed it; I think that feeling of familiarity in dreams is at once so widely shared and so intimidating and scary to me that I just had to revisit this scene again. And suddenly the pattern gets ripped away, and everything is even more wrong, and then it falls into chaos. Much like Blaine's mind, at the moment.

Aha, so glad you like the facebook conversation! XD Blaine's Aunt Amabel isn't very good at facebook. She puts long paragraphs on his wall every few months, and signs her name at the bottom every time because she doesn't quite realize that it's obvious she is when she posts things. <3

And ahh, you see what I did there. <3 Glad you like my little canon bombs of madness!

Thank you so much for your amazing feedback!!
cassidychase
Oct. 21st, 2011 06:57 am (UTC)
Oh F**** fuck... that dream sequence.. @.@ shit when you slipped in the "There you are etc". That's like one of my favourite lines from Blaine ever and you used it there and !!!! Chills.

Revisiting that first moment was awesome. Really where it all begins for real. And had that moment been as written here, Blaine would probably have been spared so much trauma, even though he would have been killed. How weird is that?

Of course.. on top of reducing Blaine into a quivering mess with that heart, Kurt has to go disappear for a couple of days and make Blaine edge closer to a nervous breakdown... sigh... do YOU enjoy torturing Blaine? Just wondering XD

Is it weird that I'm grinning like a maniac about the fact that "hell yea! new chapter!!" is mixing into my reaction and instead of "oh no don't torture blainey anymore..*sniff*" has become "Hell yeah! Kurt's still torturing Blaine! XD". I paused there for a second and was like. Wait this is NOT good for Blaine... I'll come back after lunch to continue... maybe I'll be able to sink into the story better.

Ok firstly: Important information alert!!! Kurt used to be HUMAN!! AKA Blaine could probably be turned into a VAMP. I'm like yayyayyayyayayyayyay, all by my lonesome here. Oh god, now I've gone and made myself hopeful. *whimper*

Secondly omg that phone call...oh, Blainey is doing whatever he can to stop people from dying 'because' of him, but in actual fact Kurt's still killing people for food anyway. I'm like.. Blainey, it's not your fault....

hyperventilate at Kurt's semi speeches... I want them all to be you. I feel like Blaine, just hanging on to every word Kurt says cause that is one of the few ways we have to figure Kurt out...

Loling forever at Blaine being surprised that Kurt uses the internet XD That was so adorable and really helped lighten the mood a little before diving right back in. It's so funny imagining if this Kurt doesn't need to sleep and spends his days trolling facebook and tumblr like the rest of us poor internet addicted souls XD XD I think that was too HUMAN for Blaine to accept or even consider about Kurt before he mentioned it. And I totally agree with Blaine and is it ever so confusing. On one hand Blaine is trying to convince himself that Kurt is not human, does not care about humans and is a monster, but on the other hand, Kurt does regular human stuff, like watch TV and go online...

And seriously. you referencing yourself for larger impact. Fucking Brilliant. The parallels that you write into your stories..(did my comment in the last chapter spur that?) When I saw that little bit of Body there... It's like the whole situation twisted and mixed in with my feelings for that Kurt. Cause we know so much more about that Kurt since we gone through that whole story and suddenly Blainey's situation here took on a whole new eye popping meaning when we can apply all that trapped-ness and helplessness and hate and anger, without you ever needing to write it again here! I'm like, that's genius!! *jaw drop* ! XD XD Blaine probably feels even more messed up here than Body-Kurt.. cause it's his own fucking mind and body that's supplying him with the feelings and desire, not some compulsion he has that he can't control. It's actually him wanting Kurt, even after all the crap that Kurt is dragging him through quite happily and deliberately. That last line of this part... poor Blainey....

and more importantly.. that masturbation over the fucking phone I was like omfg technically they just had phone sex and poor Blainey is feeling used over something that didn't even actually happen but but like yea it did just happen and it's freaking stuck in his subconscious and he hates himself and Kurt, stop screwing around with Blaine's head and this is so traumatising for Blaine and Kurt hasn't actually done anything concrete with/to Blaine yet so Blaine is all trapped in his head and and.... ruworbv r ibwbrvow;bnvco; Sorry that this is so incoherent.

cassidychase
Oct. 21st, 2011 06:57 am (UTC)
I don't even know what to say about the phone sex.... it was hot for sure, but the wrongness and how much hold Kurt has over Blaine is so scary. Kurt got off on Blaine choking out Kurt name. I'm like, shit, omfg whine whine. Must find out what the hell Kurt actually thinks. It's all so intentionally ambiguous I just want to take off the Blaine eyes and see what the hell is happening objectively. I NEED to know what Kurt is thinking and what this game is going to entail. @.@

(Also those little snippets of dreams that Blaine has had was an awesome addition. Loved those so much)

For example, I HAVE to know what Kurt thought of Blaine telling him that during the last phone call, Blaine had been asleep. The Hm was so freaking unsatisfactory!! And after that Kurt was all defensive about making Blaine stop trying to trick him into caring about the people he's killed and I'm here like squinting. Does that mean he already has some of those feelings? Is Blaine's humanity already getting to Kurt or am I freaking reading too much into that already??!!!

Wow, it's been a while since I've had to split my comments XD Ok, I think I'm done for now. See you in the next part XD
emilianadarling
Nov. 4th, 2011 12:08 am (UTC)
Completely agreeing with you about that particular interaction, though; it's... Blaine isn't immune to how it makes his body feel, no, but the entire situation is very creepy and very, very manipulative and unsettling indeed. Kurt has so much hold over Blaine, but at the same time he clearly wants him very badly or he wouldn't be going to all of these lengths. You're very right that Blaine's eyes, too, are very much biased and unfocused in this whole matter. He sees things in a way that aren't always exactly accurate, poor bb.

And oh, yes, Kurt is so very neutral and stone-faced about a lot of this, isn't he? And Blaine isn't trying to dig deeper, and it just leaves us all dangling. I'm so happy that you're enjoying this, and that you liked the sneaky little dream snippets, too!!

As always, thank you SO MUCH for the lovely comments, honey! I hope you enjoy Chapter Five!!
emilianadarling
Nov. 4th, 2011 12:04 am (UTC)
Whew!!! Sorry for the long wait on this response, honey!! It's been a very, very crazy couple of weeks for me, and it doesn't look like it's going to get better any time soon. <.< Mid-October-December is always very hard and busy for me at school, and most of my fandom time has been going into writing Chapter Five. But I'm VERY grateful for you taking the time to respond, as always!

Mmmmm, oh, I'm so happy that little line had such an impact. <3 It's funny, isn't it? We as Klainers have such identification with that one little set of words, and seeing it used like this makes us all automatically recoil. And I totally know where you're coming from with 'if Blaine had been killed there, he would have been spared a great deal of trauma'. SO true; it would have been horrible and awful, but fast. The way it's worked out, with everything being dragged out and extended? Is really so much worse. That scene is truly where everything begins for real; the beginning of what went wrong.

And, aha, for the purposes of this story, torturing Blaine is kinda part and parcel. ^-^;; Hee. But bb, I think that you like it when I torture Blaine!! XD I'm just happy that you're enjoying it! (Also, it's very interesting to me that you fixated on the fact that Kurt used to be human, since that seems totally natural to vampire lore to me. I think that most incarnations of vampires used to be human at some point -- or, at least, the types of lore I've been looking at seem to indicate that. :3) Very true about Blaine's guilt, by the way: nothing he could possibly do could make Kurt stop feeding. But of course, it's Blaine. And he doesn't see it that way.

I'm delighted that Kurt is coming across well in all of his creepy glory, as well. <3 And he uses the internet! I suppose if you're stuck inside a lot, any way to entertain yourself is a good idea. But yes, totally agree about it being too human for Blaine to even consider or think about before it got brought up. That would make Kurt less than a monster, and that idea is hard for Blaine to work with right now. *nodnod* The split between Kurt's human aspects and his monstrous aspects are really hard for Blaine to wrap his head around.

And aha, thank you!! :D Someone else mentioned catching that as well. The wording and situation were just too perfect to resist. <3 I'm so happy it had a positive impact on you, and even helped to deepen the story a bit! And oh, yes, Blaine. :( He's... definitely in just as difficult place as Body!Kurt, here. It's just a much more physical threat of violence connected in with the emotional torture, and from a very intentional instead of accidental source. He does actually want Kurt, even after all Kurt has done. And that? Is killing him.

kjsfhdkjshfkjdhkfjhksdhf BB YOU'RE SO FUNNY. XD I'm so happy you liked the phone scene! And yes, technically phone sex, although Blaine was more than a little distressed by the whole process, for sure. Your whole last paragrah there just has me nodding and nodding, it's not incoherent at all it's perfect, thank you so much for highlighting all that! Blaine is just so torn to pieces. :(
fara1903
Oct. 21st, 2011 07:19 am (UTC)
That was creepy and hot at the same time! Do Kurt & Blaine have a history in past life or something?
emilianadarling
Nov. 4th, 2011 12:08 am (UTC)
Aha, thank you so much! Definitely two things that scene was trying to be. <3

No history, no. But there does seem to be a connection of some description...
pingback_bot
Oct. 21st, 2011 11:32 am (UTC)
Che cazzo.
User hello_mcee referenced to your post from Che cazzo. saying: [...] entirely unacceptable. i reject this reality and substitute it with my own ie moar vampire fic omg [...]
Kathleen Gunderson
Oct. 22nd, 2011 06:24 pm (UTC)
Brilliant!
Hey! Had to stop while reading and say using the line from "Original Song", brilliant! I definitely laughed, which might not be appropriate considering Blaine is getting mauled but whatever hahaha.
emilianadarling
Nov. 4th, 2011 12:09 am (UTC)
Re: Brilliant!
Aha, thank you so much! XD Glad that line had an impact, honey!! And thank you so much for reading. <3 Enjoy Chapter Five!
kelly232
Oct. 23rd, 2011 03:08 pm (UTC)
I got back late from the worst shift at work EVER and found a whole new chapter of this story waiting for me. Night. Made.
emilianadarling
Nov. 4th, 2011 12:10 am (UTC)
Aheeeeeee, I'm so happy that I could brighten your day, hon!!! :D I'm so sorry about your bad day at work, but I'm happy I could bring a smile to your face. <3

If you had another bad day -- which I hope you haven't -- Chapter Five just got posted for your reading pleasure. <3
neffervescent
Nov. 17th, 2011 03:09 am (UTC)
You are awful and I hate you.

Also, I just realized that you're the one who wrote that fantastic werewolf au, so the superb and haunting quality of this makes sense.
emilianadarling
Nov. 17th, 2011 04:18 am (UTC)


Aha, thank you? ^^;; I'm glad you're enjoying it so much, even if it results in large amounts of hate. <3

(Also, yes, I totally wrote that! :3 Heee, I'm glad you liked 'Howl' as well!!)
undapperblaine
Nov. 20th, 2011 06:55 pm (UTC)
That was. so. WOW.
You are an incredibly talented writer. To think up all of this is amazing! You really know how to keep up the suspense at all times. The phone scene nearly killed me! Oh and adding the "i've been looking for you forever" is really going to make it hard to watch that episode without thinking of this! SOO FANTASTIC!
firefly_ca
Dec. 13th, 2011 07:18 am (UTC)
You know what the problem is? Usually in these classic vampire stories you root for the undead guy because the hero is a douchebag and the damsel in distress is useless. You've created a story with an EPIC vampire and a wholly sympathetic and personable good guy/love interest and Argrgrgrgh! I don't know who to cheer for D:

On the plus side, this is the best problem you could ever hope to have reading this kind of story. Your writing is fantastic.
theromanticnerd
Mar. 12th, 2012 02:13 pm (UTC)
I was reading this right before going to sleep, and I'm absolutely blaming you for the (awesome) nightmares I had :D

I think I am able to count the times I had a nightmare after reading fic on one hand. The horror in this is something else! <3

EDIT: Man, now I have this theory that this is all in Blaine's head, vampires don't exist, the two policemen didn't die, there was no heart, the drunk guy was just taken out by Blaine'salterego!Kurt Blaine is imagining it all - the box with the present, the phonecalls, the news, maybe even the drunk guy. (I read a fic something like that once, and it just struck me that Blaine doesn't really contact anyone and nobody contacts him, and we haven't heard anyone talking about anything) And I know the odds of that happening, but still, I wanted to tell you that I'm inventing conspirational theories for your stuff :D

(maybe this is just me not being able to deal with the fact that I can NOT imagine a healthy Klaine relationship at this point)

One more thing: OMG YOU FINISHED IT A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. How lucky am I to have starting this when I did :D

Edited at 2012-03-12 02:37 pm (UTC)
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )